IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Every year several language die out. Some people think this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages. To what extent do u agree or disagree with this opinion.

#year #language #people #life #languages
Nowadays, many
people
 do not speak their
country
's native
language
.
This
 is leading to the extinction of many
languages
 over time. Some
people
 argue that it still makes life easier,
therefore
, it should not be considered an important concern. I personally disagree with
this
 idea and think that
this
 matter should not be ignored. It is hard to deny the key role of a
country
's native
language
. If it dies out, any other things will be forgotten too. The
language
 carries the culture of the
country
. It shows how the literature of the region developed over time.
Moreover
, it is an important part of the history of the
country
.
This
 is why if the
language
 is never spoken, these things will
also
 fade in history.
Consequently
, citizens of that
country
 will not be able to use their historical heritage because their
language
 has died out.
For example
, Pahlavi's
language
 died out hundreds of years ago.
As a consequence
, the
people
 of Iran have lost their ability to read and write in that
language
 and use the documents that
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 left for them by their ancestors.
Furthermore
, life would not necessarily be easier if there were few
languages
. A change in the mother tongue of a person is a process that takes a lot of time.
This
 requires learning other
languages
 and trying to speak them
instead
 of the mother tongue.
Although
this
 might make communication with others easier for younger
people
, it is still extremely hard for older adults since the habit of speaking in their native
language
 has become ingrained in them. In conclusion, I disagree with
people
 who think that the extinction of
languages
 does not matter. I think
this
 should be considered seriously.
Submitted by bayatz80 on

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task response
Your essay addresses the prompt and expresses a clear opinion on the importance of preserving languages. The points made are relevant and well-developed, showing a good level of task response. However, remember to stay focused on the given topic and avoid introducing unrelated points.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-organized and follows a logical structure. The introduction and conclusion are present, and the main points are well-supported with relevant examples. However, consider using stronger transition words and phrases to improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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