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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion

#computers #education #people #trend #consequences #argument
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Computers
Use synonyms
 became often utilised in education processes
as a result
Linking Words
,
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of people think it is
affirmative
Add an article
an affirmative
the affirmative
show examples
 trend, while others reckon it has
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
negative consequences. In my point of
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
this
Linking Words
 tendency has more drawbacks than positive sides.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views. On the hand, we have
thesis
Add an article
a thesis
show examples
 that says using
computers
Use synonyms
 is a good direction. Undoubtedly,
this
Linking Words
 argument has
own
Correct pronoun usage
its own
show examples
 pros and cons. To start with
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 obviously,
thing
Add an article
the thing
a thing
show examples
 I want to mention is the suitability
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the modern world which, require knowing how to use
devices
Use synonyms
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 computer at the basic
levels
Fix the agreement mistake
level
show examples
in
Add the comma(s)
,in
show examples
 that case, students
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
this
Linking Words
 skill from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
statement
Correct article usage
the statement
show examples
 which
point
Change the verb form
points
show examples
 out
bad
Add an article
the bad
show examples
 influence of
this
Linking Words
 trend has more foundation and reasons
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Abundance
Add an article
The abundance
An abundance
show examples
 of
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 clearly illustrates how using gadgets
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
computer
Add an article
the computer
a computer
show examples
 has a bad impact on
social
Correct article usage
the social
show examples
 skills of the learner.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 teenagers use their
devices
Use synonyms
 at home after coming from school,
Linking Words
similarly
Add a comma
,similarly
show examples
 if students will
also
Linking Words
, use
computers
Use synonyms
 at school,
then
Linking Words
 we can expect increasing the time of using
devices
Use synonyms
 which is not good at all. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 I want to mention surveys that
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 how using
devices
Use synonyms
directly
Add a missing verb
is directly
show examples
 connected to IQ
therefore
Linking Words
, if
goal
Add an article
the goal
show examples
 is the achieve higher academic results through
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tools, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
,opinion
show examples
computers
Use synonyms
not
Add the comma(s)
,not
show examples
 the best option.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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