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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What sort of punishments should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?

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It is a strong desire in many
parents
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 and teachers to raise well-behaved
children
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 to become useful members of society and succeed in life.
Parents
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,
therefore
Linking Words
, need to give their
children
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proper
Correct article usage
a proper
show examples
 upbringing from an early age to enable them to tell right from wrong. To
this
Linking Words
 end, it is almost impossible to exclude reward and
punishment
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 in regulating and controlling
children
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’s behaviour, but what kind of
punishment
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 should be employed? In the history of human society, rewards and punishments, of any sort, have been in place to encourage good manners and discourage unhealthy ones. People should see that they will suffer the consequences if they misbehave, and how their wrongdoing may hurt others as well. Indeed,
this
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 teaching needs
to begin
Linking Words
 from an early age both at home and at school as part of the curriculum.
Children
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, especially at an early age, undergo several stages of development based on the kinds of patterns of
Use synonyms
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
 and teachings they receive and are exposed to
,
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apply
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 and form their identity and personality emulating their
parents
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, teachers, and peers.
Then
Linking Words
, as
adults
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,adults
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 they tend to continue on in the habits and attitudes they formed and adopted as they interacted with others. To teach good
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
,
parents
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 and teachers need,
first
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 of all, to demonstrate exemplary
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
 and act as good role models. To put it in perspective, it would be more difficult for a smoking father to prevent his child from trying cigarettes, while he continues to smoke.
However
Linking Words
, on some
occasions
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,occasions
show examples
punishment
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 would be the best course of action. Proper disciplinary strategies are those that deprive
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
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 of the things they most like to do or have.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a child refuses to brush his teeth, he can be denied his pocket money, or if a schoolboy bullies his peers, he can be required to go to school on holidays to do some service, missing the joy of the holiday. Corporal
punishment
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,
however
Linking Words
, must be avoided at all times, in my opinion, as it may not only cause emotional problems, it would
also
Linking Words
 set a bad example for the youth possibly teaching them to emulate aggressive
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
. Undoubtedly,
children
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 should be taught good manners early in life, from the time they are taught right from left. Half the way will already be travelled if they are surrounded
with
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by
show examples
, and brought up in a healthy environment, both at school and at home. A carrot and stick approach, if
practiced
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practised
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 appropriately, can induce good behaviour and help
children
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 think about their actions and encourage them to improve their manners throughout adulthood.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • disciplinary methods
  • emotional well-being
  • positive reinforcement
  • moral reasoning
  • behavioral issues
  • non-punitive
  • time-outs
  • loss of privileges
  • natural consequences
  • empathy
  • communication
  • physical punishment
  • aggression
  • correctional strategies
  • consistency
  • constructive discipline
  • open discussions
  • moral development
What to do next:
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