IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many efforts have been made by countries to address challenges concerning the environment but the situation have not improved. What are the possible reasons for environmental degradation? Are there any solution to combat this problem?

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It is undeniable that governments
pour
Verb problem
put
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 a lot of effort in order to solve environmental problems even though they gained little. There are several causes for
this
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 environmental decay, but measures could certainly be taken to solve the problem. The main problem is that the increasing human population is putting pressure on natural resources,
such
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 as fossil fuels like oil and gas which are linked to air pollution are under
dramatically demanded
Replace the word
dramatic demand
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.
Moreover
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, we have to cut down enormous areas of rainforest in order to accommodate the world’s population
while
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 rainforests produce oxygen, absorb carbon dioxide and stabilise the Earth’s climate. Another issue is that the established manufacturing industries in certain countries have a huge contribution to the tax revenue and even provide more job opportunities and better salaries. If we close these factories since they cause pollution to the environment, it will damage the local tax which should be spent on education, healthcare, infrastructure, and security, among other areas. These public services are vital for a developing country to function properly.
However
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, there are various steps that could
take
Wrong verb form
be taken
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 to tackle these problems. For one thing, governments could certainly make more effort to reduce air pollution.
For example
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, they could introduce laws to limit emissions from factories or to force companies to use renewable energy from solar, wind or water power.
Besides
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, they could
also
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 impose ‘green taxes’ on drivers and airline companies. In
this
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 way, people would be encouraged to use public transport and to take fewer flights abroad,
therefore
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 reducing emissions. On top of that, individuals can take public transport rather than drive, choose products with less packaging, and recycle as much as possible. In conclusion, both national governments and individuals could certainly implement a range of measures to combat the effectless of looking after the environment.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your response. However, the overall structure of the essay could be improved by organizing your ideas and supporting points more clearly and logically.
Task Achievement
While your essay addresses the task and provides relevant ideas, there are areas where the ideas could be developed further for a more comprehensive response. Make sure to provide more specific examples to support your points.
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