Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but people believe there are other external factors that influence us . Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #happiness #factors #influence

Numerous individuals believe that they themselves are accountable for their

happiness

. While others opine that external

stimulies

Correct your spelling

stimuli

stimulus

are responsible to lead a happy life.

Although

, materialistic forces certainly

helps

Correct subject-verb agreement

help

show examples

an individual to be happy.

This

essay is of

Correct article usage

the

show examples

opinion that

happiness

is a state of mind and can be attained by feeling contented from within. On the one hand,

people

must be liable for their own

happiness

as no situation, person or any form of

accomplishments

Fix the agreement mistake

accomplishment

show examples

can make an individual truly happy or satisfied

this

is because these all materialistic possessions are not permanent ; it must be the responsibility of an individual to train themselves to lead their lives in a de-attached way. So, that their

happiness

should not be dependent on any tangible object. To illustrate, there are many fortunate and rich

people

who state that their wealth and belongings are not responsible for their

happiness

rather their selfless service to mankind is making them satisfied and contented from the inside.

Therefore

, folks can create their own

happiness

by pursuing activities they aspire to practice which leads them to be happy.

On the other hand

, enormous

people

strive to be successful to become happy. Their

happiness

is directly proportional to their achievements in life. Their neverending aspirations and expectations from themselves and others make them feel proud.

Such

individuals are influenced by various external motivations

such

as money, designations, status in society and many more. For ,example a businessman feels happy when they witness their organisation performing better

then

Replace the word

than

show examples

their competitor.

However

this

essay does not support these aforementioned views because

happiness

is a mindset ,and if it gets attached to any material or object it will definitely get vanish sooner or later. To conclude , despite the fact that external motivators encourage

people

to be happy.

This

essay believes that

happiness

can not be achieved by getting associated with something which is temporary, and it is a journey ,not a destination.

Submitted by rinkyrathor3488 on Wed Oct 26 2022

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

325 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but people believe there are other external factors that influence us . Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Your opinion

Being overweight has become a major health concern in many parts of the world. Explain the cause for being overweight and provide solutions.

Some people believe that governments should pay full course fees for students who want to study in universities. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Social media is an essential part of young people’s lives nowadays, but its impact is often criticized. What are the advantages and disadvantages of social media in teenagers’ and young adults’ lives?

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding changes. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. to what extent you agree or disagree?