IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some say that because many people are living much longer the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree?

#say #people #age #work
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Nowadays there are a
lot
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 of old
people
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 who don't have a
lot
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 to do and they just spend their time watching
a
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apply
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tv or sitting in the parks and for some of
them
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,them
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this
Linking Words
 is their dream and everything they have been waiting for. But for
others
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,others
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 it is a meaningless life where they just sit around doing nothing all day. I certainly disagree that
people
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 should retire later and I am going to present my views regarding
this
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 topic. When
people
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 reach the age of
retirement
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, they feel like they have finished their mission in
this
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 world and they just relax and in my eyes that relaxation is well deserved for everything they did in their years. But there are some
people
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 who could get bored of doing nothing and I absolutely understand them, but there are a
lot
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 of reasons why they are too old to keep working in jobs.
For example
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, schools are full of old teachers and there are only a few students who actually like them and listen to them, but the majority
understands
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understand
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 that they have lived in a different world and they do not take their word for granted and unfortunately, I am one of them. Another point of view is that the job would be good for their own sake
,
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apply
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 because they would be able to get more
money
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 and later have a more enjoyable
retirement
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.
For example
Linking Words
, my grandma had been saving
money
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 for
retirement
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 for five years and because of that
money
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 she was traveling for ten years and had a wonderful
retirement
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. So if older
people
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 would have the opportunity to work longer they could
also
Linking Words
 save some
money
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 and for some maybe it would add
a
Correct article usage
apply
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value to their lives. To sum it all up, I do not think that it is a good idea to raise the age at which
people
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 retire and in my
eyes
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,eyes
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 it would add a
lot
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 more misunderstandings than help for others.
Submitted by oimigle on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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