IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some old people today struggle with the use of modern techonologies such as smartphones and computers. What is the cause of this? What are some possible solutions?

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Today
Use synonyms
 some old age individuals struggle with
Use synonyms
use
Add an article
the use
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
today
Change noun form
today's
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 technologies item like
mobilephones
Correct your spelling
mobile phones
 and
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
,
because
Correct word choice
and because
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 of
this
Linking Words
 they
facing
Change the form of the verb
face
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 many
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
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such
Linking Words
 as not connecting with their
Correct your spelling
children
children's
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
in
upcoming
Add an article
an upcoming
the upcoming
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essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 I will give some solutions as well.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they do not know how to
use
Use synonyms
 phones and they are unable to contact their relatives and juvenile.
In other words
Linking Words
, everything is online now and
son
Correct article usage
the son
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 and daughter using modern technology
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 try to contact
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their mother and father by that, if
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 do not
Correct your spelling
know
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no
Correct your spelling
know
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 how to
use
Use synonyms
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 not able to pick up
Add an article
the call
a call
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call
Fix the agreement mistake
calls
show examples
 and text massage as well.
For example
Linking Words
, in
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Correct article usage
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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India most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
old age
people
Use synonyms
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
use
Use synonyms
 modern smartphones.
As a result
Linking Words
, aged persons disconnected
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 their
Correct your spelling
children
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, they do not work online on
laptop
Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
show examples
 and
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 because of
this
Linking Words
today
Use synonyms
 they
facing
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their workplace and for
them
Add a comma
,them
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 it is hard to find a good job.
For instance
Linking Words
, the newspaper headline
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
 that
today
Use synonyms
 old
people
Use synonyms
 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great knowledge
are not gets
Change the verb form
do not get
show examples
 fit and the reason is modern technology.
Hence
Linking Words
, more aged
people
Use synonyms
 are jobless.
On the other hand
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, to
Add a comma
,slove
show examples
Correct your spelling
solve
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slove
Correct your spelling
solve
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this
Linking Words
 problem government should start
camp
Add an article
a camp
show examples
 for old
persons
Replace the word
people
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also
Linking Words
 it is their
Correct your spelling
children's
children
childrens
Change to a genitive case
children's
show examples
 responsibility to teach them how to
use
Use synonyms
 phones and computers. According to
,
Correct article usage
a, study
show examples
study
Correct article usage
a study
show examples
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
 who teach their parents new
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
learn fast.
Thus
Linking Words
, they
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
Add a hyphen
up-to-date
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up-to- date
Correct your spelling
up-to-date
show examples
 and impending to do their own work. In conclusion. Old
people
Use synonyms
are not
Change the verb form
are not used
are not using
show examples
use
Use synonyms
 to
Use synonyms
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
this
Linking Words
Correct your spelling
thing
show examples
think
Correct your spelling
thing
show examples
 but
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 help of children and government
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 can easily learn.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital literacy
  • formative years
  • cognitive decline
  • adaptability
  • generational divide
  • intuitive user interfaces
  • intergenerational support
  • assistive technologies
  • user-friendly
  • inclusive design
  • senior-centric
  • tailored education programs
What to do next:
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