In education and empolyment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work hardrer ? Is it always a good thing to work hard ?

Nowadays,
Correct your spelling
pressure
pression
Correct your spelling
pressure
and competition are the most important problem that lots of
people
face.
Therefore
, there are a lot of
people
work
Correct pronoun usage
who work
show examples
hard in education and employment.
However
, why do they work harder
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
others? Whether it is a good thing that they always do it? In
this
essay, I will talk about my opinion. It is obvious that
through
Change preposition
apply
show examples
hard
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
can make life better. That means that whatever in education or employment, studying hard or working hard can play a
Correct your spelling
crucial
cruicial
Correct your spelling
crucial
role and make a
basic
Replace the word
basis
show examples
for the future life.
For example
, working hard can earn more money, can buy anything that they want, and can offer all the families need. Educating hard can apply
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
show examples
institute or get
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
jobs. Thereby educating and working hard can get more benefits for themselves.
This
is the reason
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
why some
people
are studying or working harder
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
others.
In addition
,
although
there are more benefits for them because of their
hard
Add a hyphen
hard-working
show examples
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
. If they always do
this
, they will get disadvantaged.
Firstly
, it is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
their health since
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
time
in
Change preposition
under
show examples
high
Correct your spelling
precision
pression
Correct your spelling
pressure
. So that it will
injury
Correct your spelling
injure
show examples
their mind.
Secondly
, if they always
studying
Wrong verb form
study
show examples
hard or
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
for a long time, they cannot get
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
with others. Because they always think about competition. Other
people
in their eyes are not friends.
Thirdly
, it is not
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
thing for the whole society. Since full of the competitive atmosphere let society become more
presure
Correct your spelling
pressure
. In conclusion, it is
Correct your spelling
necessary
nesserary
Correct your spelling
necessary
that
keeping
Wrong verb form
keep
show examples
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
and work status but
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
need
too
Change preposition
to too
show examples
hard. Relaxing and making friends are
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
communication
Replace the word
communicate
show examples
.
Submitted by kevin. B on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: