In education and empolyment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work hardrer ? Is it always a good thing to work hard ?

#education #empolyment #people #work #hardrer

Nowadays,

Correct your spelling

pressure

pression

Correct your spelling

pressure

and competition are the most important problem that lots of

people

face.

Therefore

, there are a lot of

people

work

Correct pronoun usage

who work

show examples

hard in education and employment.

However

, why do they work harder

then

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than

show examples

others? Whether it is a good thing that they always do it? In

this

essay, I will talk about my opinion. It is obvious that

through

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apply

show examples

hard

working

Replace the word

work

show examples

can make life better. That means that whatever in education or employment, studying hard or working hard can play a

Correct your spelling

crucial

cruicial

Correct your spelling

crucial

role and make a

basic

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basis

show examples

for the future life.

For example

, working hard can earn more money, can buy anything that they want, and can offer all the families need. Educating hard can apply

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to a

show examples

high level

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high-level

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institute or get

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the opportunity

an opportunity

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opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

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for

show examples

jobs. Thereby educating and working hard can get more benefits for themselves.

This

is the reason

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

why some

people

are studying or working harder

then

Replace the word

than

show examples

others.

In addition

although

there are more benefits for them because of their

hard

Add a hyphen

hard-working

show examples

working

Replace the word

work

show examples

. If they always do

this

, they will get disadvantaged.

Firstly

, it is harmful

for

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show examples

their health since

long

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a long

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time

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under

show examples

high

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precision

pression

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pressure

. So that it will

injury

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injure

show examples

their mind.

Secondly

, if they always

studying

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study

show examples

hard or

working

Wrong verb form

work

show examples

for a long time, they cannot get

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

with others. Because they always think about competition. Other

people

in their eyes are not friends.

Thirdly

, it is not

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

thing for the whole society. Since full of the competitive atmosphere let society become more

presure

Correct your spelling

pressure

. In conclusion, it is

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necessary

nesserary

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necessary

that

keeping

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keep

show examples

study

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

and work status but

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not

show examples

need

too

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to too

show examples

hard. Relaxing and making friends are

good

Change the article

a good

show examples

way

Fix the agreement mistake

ways

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

communication

Replace the word

communicate

show examples

Submitted by kevin. B on Wed Oct 26 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

274 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In education and empolyment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work hardrer ? Is it always a good thing to work hard ?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You missed an international flight due to a problem at the airport. Write a letter to the airline. In your letter: Describe what happened that caused you to miss your flight Explain how missing your flight impacted you Clearly state what you would like the airline to do

Some people believe that it is a good idea that older people continue to work if it is possible for them to do so. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?