In education and empolyment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work hardrer ? Is it always a good thing to work hard ?

#education #empolyment #people #work #hardrer

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Nowadays,

Correct your spelling

pressure

pression

Correct your spelling

pressure

and competition are the most important problem that lots of

people

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face.

Therefore

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, there are a lot of

people

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work

Correct pronoun usage

who work

show examples

hard in education and employment.

However

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, why do they work harder

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then

Replace the word

than

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others? Whether it is a good thing that they always do it? In

this

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essay, I will talk about my opinion. It is obvious that

through

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apply

show examples

hard

working

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work

show examples

can make life better. That means that whatever in education or employment, studying hard or working hard can play a

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crucial

cruicial

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crucial

role and make a

basic

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basis

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for the future life.

For example

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, working hard can earn more money, can buy anything that they want, and can offer all the families need. Educating hard can apply

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to a

show examples

high level

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high-level

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institute or get

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the opportunity

an opportunity

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opportunity

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opportunities

show examples

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for

show examples

jobs. Thereby educating and working hard can get more benefits for themselves.

This

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is the reason

that

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apply

show examples

why some

people

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are studying or working harder

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then

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than

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others.

In addition

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although

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there are more benefits for them because of their

hard

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hard-working

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working

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work

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. If they always do

this

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, they will get disadvantaged.

Firstly

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, it is harmful

for

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show examples

their health since

long

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a long

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time

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under

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high

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precision

pression

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pressure

. So that it will

injury

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injure

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their mind.

Secondly

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, if they always

studying

Wrong verb form

study

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hard or

working

Wrong verb form

work

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for a long time, they cannot get

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

relationship

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relationships

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with others. Because they always think about competition. Other

people

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in their eyes are not friends.

Thirdly

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, it is not

good

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a good

show examples

thing for the whole society. Since full of the competitive atmosphere let society become more

presure

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pressure

. In conclusion, it is

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necessary

nesserary

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necessary

that

keeping

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keep

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study

Wrong verb form

studying

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and work status but

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not

show examples

need

too

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to too

show examples

hard. Relaxing and making friends are

good

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a good

show examples

way

Fix the agreement mistake

ways

show examples

for

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show examples

communication

Replace the word

communicate

show examples

Submitted by kevin. B on Wed Oct 26 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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In education and empolyment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work hardrer ? Is it always a good thing to work hard ?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Sme people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reason for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Many students find it difficult to focus or pay attention at school nowadays. What are the reasons for this?