All parents want the best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that school teaches children a skill but others think having a range of subjects is better for the children's future. Discuss both sides.

#parents #opportunities #children #people #school #skill #range #subjects #future

Every parent wants the best chances for their own children. Some people think that their children need to

study

all

subjects

but there are people who think that it is more important to

study

limited things. I think that it depends on the situation. I will discuss both points and describe my opinion.

First

of all, we can say that not only math, science, and English but

also

music, and art

subjects

are important.

For example

, I read a book

that is

about a country where a lot of singers were born. Music is very popular in

this

country which is located in Europa. A few famous artists but

this

country focused on education. The governments decided to introduce more time to

music

Add an article

the music

show examples

. After

this

action, some students started their careers as singers and one part of them became so famous in the world. Famous people surged a lot because of the change.

In contrast

, if I want to be a pilot, I need to

study

how to drive an aeroplane and so on.

For me

Change preposition

show examples

, It does not have the means to

study

other

subjects

that I do not should to learn.

Therefore

, if I know what I want to become, it is more important to have a range of

subjects

. 　Overall, I think that limiting the subject is a good idea depending on the students.

On the other hand

, if we changed the systems of education, it made a bad situation. A huge student does not know what is their goal. In

this

situation, if we limited the subject, it could be limiting their opportunities. The conclusion is that I think that having a range of

subjects

is better for the children's future.

Submitted by kenji200056 on Wed Oct 26 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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All parents want the best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that school teaches children a skill but others think having a range of subjects is better for the children's future. Discuss both sides.

Fully explain your ideas

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Public transportation is a great way to travel, particularly within a metropolis. The metro is the most convenient way to get around a city. Do you agree or disagree?

The education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important, and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In some countries, student pay their college or university fees, while in some others, the government pays for them. Do the advantages of governments paying for fees outweigh the disadvantages.

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for government. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+