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Writing Samples
Band 7

some people believe that if people are not allowed to work after the age of 60, it cause problems. Do you agree or disagree?

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Rules for working at the
age
Use synonyms
 above
sixty
Use synonyms
 varies country to country. Many believe it is healthy to get retire from
work
Use synonyms
 after reaching
sixty
Use synonyms
 while others believe retiring from
work
Use synonyms
 only because of the
age
Use synonyms
 limits creates difficulties. Personally, I am in favour of the latter and in the following ,paragraphs I will be explaining my views.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, restricting
people
Use synonyms
 from
work
Use synonyms
 after a certain
age
Use synonyms
 produces huge stress about their financial stability as the job was the main source of livelihood for a long period of time.
For instance
Linking Words
, service holders in Bangladesh compulsorily retire after
sixty
Use synonyms
 when in most cases families struggle to carry on due to a sudden cut off of income.
Thus
Linking Words
, the person who was once responsible for providing for all needs of the household goes through unbearable mental stress just because he is now not able to support himself financially as before.
Such
Linking Words
 incapability kills their inner peace which may lead to damage to family bonds. Another point worth mentioning is that working keeps
people
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 active and healthy. When a person stops working as s/he gets to
sixty
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, cells of their body stop and lose regeneration power and
thus
Linking Words
 the process of ageing goes faster.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
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 who continue to
work
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 tens to
age
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 two times slower than those who retire after
sixty
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, the Japanese are renowned in the world for their longevity which is mostly contributed
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the practice of being active even at the
age
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 of 100. In conclusion, the
age
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 limit for
work
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 permits causes
people
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 to go through
a financial crises
Correct the article-noun agreement
a financial crisis
financial crises
show examples
 leading to damage to family cohesion along with gearing up their ageing process.
Therefore
Linking Words
, governments of any country should not force citizens to leave their
work
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 just because of
age
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 if they are fit and willing to continue their jobs.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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