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Band 6

Some people believe that unpaid community services should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity ,improving the neighborhood or teaching sport to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #services #part #school #programs #charity #neighborhood #sport #children
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There are two different perspectives on high school programs. Some people believe that volunteering work should be included in the high school curriculum. Whereas others feel that pupils should concentrate solely on their studies. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both points of view and provide my opinion as follows. On the one hand, allowing
students
Use synonyms
 to participate in volunteering activities
such
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 as supporting people with disabilities, caring
of
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for
show examples
 their community, or teaching music to younger pupils can result in colossal benefits for them.
This
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 is because it will be able to foster empathy in
students
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 and enable them to learn how to help others.
For instance
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, children who have an opportunity to assist people in
needs
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need
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 will have more possibilities to understand others and build their sense of empathy.
Moreover
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, doing a lot of charity work may help adolescents to discover their desired profession because it exposes them to see several career genres.
On the other hand
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, some argue that working on an extracurricular task is unnecessary because pupils should mainly focus on strengthening their academic skills.
In addition
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, it is undeniable that not everyone can balance several activities at once, some
students
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 may find it difficult to focus their minds on anything other than studying.
As a result
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, It can destroy a student's life if they are incapable of
concentrate
Wrong verb form
concentrating
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 on critical tests and fail to apply to their selected faculty.
Hence
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, unpaid community services should not be compulsory only if
students
Use synonyms
 are eager to do it. To conclude, I totally disagree that unpaid community services should be a mandatory activity for teenagers,
although
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 it has numerous benefits that not everyone takes advantage of.
Submitted by krongporn.c on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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