Some people believe that unpaid community services should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity ,improving the neighborhood or teaching sport to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #services #part #school #programs #charity #neighborhood #sport #children

There are two different perspectives on high school programs. Some people believe that volunteering work should be included in the high school curriculum. Whereas others feel that pupils should concentrate solely on their studies. In

this

essay, I will discuss both points of view and provide my opinion as follows. On the one hand, allowing

students

to participate in volunteering activities

such

as supporting people with disabilities, caring

Change preposition

for

show examples

their community, or teaching music to younger pupils can result in colossal benefits for them.

This

is because it will be able to foster empathy in

students

and enable them to learn how to help others.

For instance

, children who have an opportunity to assist people in

needs

Fix the agreement mistake

need

show examples

will have more possibilities to understand others and build their sense of empathy.

Moreover

, doing a lot of charity work may help adolescents to discover their desired profession because it exposes them to see several career genres.

On the other hand

, some argue that working on an extracurricular task is unnecessary because pupils should mainly focus on strengthening their academic skills.

In addition

, it is undeniable that not everyone can balance several activities at once, some

students

may find it difficult to focus their minds on anything other than studying.

As a result

, It can destroy a student's life if they are incapable of

concentrate

Wrong verb form

concentrating

show examples

on critical tests and fail to apply to their selected faculty.

Hence

, unpaid community services should not be compulsory only if

students

are eager to do it. To conclude, I totally disagree that unpaid community services should be a mandatory activity for teenagers,

although

it has numerous benefits that not everyone takes advantage of.

Submitted by krongporn.c on Thu Oct 27 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that unpaid community services should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity ,improving the neighborhood or teaching sport to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Modern technology is now very common in most workplaces. How do you think has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages of relying to much on technology?

Some people argue that it is the responsibility of the police to educate children about good behavior, whereas others believe that parents should be responsible for children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Too much emphasis is given for education of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?