Some people think a country benefits from a large proportion of young university students, others think sending young people to universities only leads to believe graduate unemployment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #country #proportion #university #students #universities #graduate #unemployment

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Many individuals believe that with advanced education, the

number

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of undergraduates has been increasing. Some argue that a large

number

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university

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students

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will increase the unemployment rate of high-educated people and it is not beneficial for

society

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. From my perspective, I would say that a large proportion of young

university

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students

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have positive effects on

society

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. On the one hand, there are some disadvantages to the increasing

number

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of undergraduates.

To begin

Linking Words

with, many young people tend to go to

university

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after graduating from high school. Because of

this

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, some people could apply for admission to

university

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without enough to think about what they want to be.

Therefore

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, there is a lot of competition in

this

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majority which makes these

students

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likely to be unsatisfied with their major.

In other words

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, a lack of confidence in their major could lead to failure in finding their jobs.

On the other hand

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, I believe that a large proportion of young

university

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students

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positively influence

society

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Firstly

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, the quality of these

students

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is warranted because of the

university

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programmes.

This

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is because these

students

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can improve their ability through these programmes, competing with their peers.

As a result

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, these

students

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after graduating will become high-technique employees rather than physical workers with no more degrees from a

university

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. In conclusion,

although

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the increasing

number

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of undergraduates could make negative impacts on individuals and

society

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because of creating many competitions, I believe that it would bring more advantages for the country.

Submitted by jakedth162 on Thu Oct 27 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

247 words

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Some people think a country benefits from a large proportion of young university students, others think sending young people to universities only leads to believe graduate unemployment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many societies, there is less social contact between the elderly and the young. What are the reasons and what measures can be taken?

In spite of technological developments in transportation, many people believe that a bicycle is the best way to reach in any destination. What are the advantages and disadvantages of using a bicycle nowadays?

Some people say that subjects like arts, music, drama and creative writing are more beneficial to children and therefore they need more of these subjects to be included in the timetable

the responsibility for the protection of the environment is by a transnationa organiztaion or every country.