Some people think that the inteernet has brought people closer togethert while others that people and communities are bbecome more isolated. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #inteernet #togethert #communities #bbecome

it is quite obvious that the

internet

has made connecting with people a lot easier in the 21st century.

While

some people believe that it has narrowed the gap between individuals, others argue that it has abolished the personal touch from our daily

lives

. In

this

essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument,

while

I support the former opinion. On the

first

Correct word choice

other

show examples

hand, some of the folks, who do not favour the

internet

, opine that the

world-wide-web

Correct your spelling

world

show examples

has removed personal contact from our

lives

. The reason for

this

is that a lot of law-abiding citizens now resort to the

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

show examples

to speak with any individual, be it for work or personal. To illustrate

this

point, many people in my city, New Delhi, prefer buying goods online rather than personally visiting departmental stores.

In contrast

, if we continue to dwell in

such

a fashion, our

lives

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

become hollow and dull.

On the other hand

, I would argue that the

internet

offers a plethora of benefits on the side.

Firstly

, we do not have to travel thousands of miles in order to meet someone dwelling in a distant city since many folks have access to the

world-wide-web

Correct your spelling

worldwide web

show examples

nowadays.

For example

, sales personnel can virtually meet their clients via software applications,

such

as Skype and Teams, without having to pay for lodging and plane

ticket

Fix the agreement mistake

tickets

show examples

On the contrary

, if the

world-wide-web

Correct your spelling

worldwide web

show examples

had never been invented, the world would not have been globalised completely until today. In conclusion,

while

the

internet

has eliminated the personal touch from our busy and hectic

lives

, it has made reaching out to others quite simple and convenient with a click of a button.

Submitted by utsavchandel26sep on Thu Oct 27 2022

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Task Response

Ensure that your essay addresses all aspects of the prompt and presents a balanced discussion of both sides.

Coherence and Cohesion

Strengthen the logical structure of your essay by clearly outlining each main point and supporting it with relevant examples.

Lexical Resource

Expand your range of vocabulary by using more varied and precise words and expressions.

Grammatical Range

Improve your grammatical accuracy by paying attention to sentence structure and avoiding errors.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

facilitated
connection
geographical barriers
social media platforms
sense of belonging
diverse perspectives
collaborate
share knowledge
excessive use
social isolation
face-to-face interaction
addicted
disconnection
physical surroundings
cyberbullying
online harassment
withdraw
false sense of connection
superficial relationships
polarization
echo chambers
balance
benefits
drawbacks
foster

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