In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It si therefore necessary for the government to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The rise of the fast
food
Use synonyms
business has led to more and more
people
Use synonyms
been
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
victimized by its unhealthy ingredients, which makes some governments think it
significant
Add a missing verb
is significant
show examples
to impose a higher tax and faster
food
Use synonyms
. Personally, to some
extent
Add a comma
,extent
show examples
I believe that the action will bring a lot of benefits, but I would
also
Linking Words
argue the necessity of
this
Linking Words
action. As there is a trend that
people
Use synonyms
's life
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
faster and faster nowadays, it is undeniable that
people
Use synonyms
can't always spend a lot of time
to have
Change the verb form
having
show examples
meals.
Therefore
Linking Words
, taking fast
food
Use synonyms
offers them a good opportunity to cherish time.
In addition
Linking Words
, because of the most two important
characters
Replace the word
characteristics
show examples
of fast
food
Use synonyms
: fast and flexible, it is understandable
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
why the young generation so fancy fast
food
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I still think it is reasonable that government should impose a higher tax on fast
food
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, fast
food
Use synonyms
is made by some small restaurants which are not as official as
canteen
Correct article usage
the canteen
show examples
, so the health of
Correct article usage
the ingredient
show examples
ingredient
Fix the agreement mistake
ingredients
show examples
can't be guaranteed. More importantly ,most fast
Use synonyms
food
Change to a plural noun
foods
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
junk
food
Use synonyms
, and
people
Use synonyms
will find it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
easy for them to get addicted to them. After they have fast
food
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a lot of
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
,there is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
big possibility that their health will in danger. All in all ,I
defind
Correct your spelling
defined
that the decision about imposing a higher tax on fast
food
Use synonyms
is right.
Submitted by 1697541237 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • - Cardiovascular diseases
  • - Obesity rates
  • - Public health expenditure
  • - Workforce productivity
  • - Unhealthy food
  • - Dietary choices
  • - Revenue generated
  • - Subsidize
  • - Disproportionately affect
  • - Economic benefits
  • - Education and awareness campaigns
What to do next:
Look at other essays: