IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Sales companies often try to recruit people who are motivated by money, as they believe that it will make them work harder. do you believe people are motivated to work hard by money and what other factors should be considered when searching for new sales staff?

#sales #companies #people #money #work #factors #staff
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Marketing organizations often consider and it seems true too that monetary perks can help to achieve
best
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the best
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 output from a
person
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 there are many other factors
for example
Linking Words
 a
person
Use synonyms
’s
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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, loyalty, sincerity, attitude toward
Use synonyms
job
Add an article
the job
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, education and prior experience cannot be overlooked while hiring someone. In
following
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,following
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 paragraphs will talk about both perspectives in detail. On the one hand, having enough money and
to be
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being
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 able to
feeding
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feed
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 your family in
an
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a
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 respectable way is
ones
Change to a genitive case
one's
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 responsibility.
Provide
Wrong verb form
Providing
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 them with the basic need of life is always prioritized by an individual,
hence
Linking Words
 luring someone with tempting incentives and salary can get the best out of a
person
Use synonyms
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 If you have a roof over the head, food to eat, and money to educate your offspring you would not be all the time worried and can focus more on your
job
Use synonyms
 and progression of
company
Add an article
the company
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, which in turn will yield more profit and expansion for the company.
For example
Linking Words
, most managers don't mind staying late to complete their tasks.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a
person
Use synonyms
’s background or earlier work experience is
also
Linking Words
 a key requirement while recruiting
for example
Linking Words
 latest research published in the Paris newspaper highlighted the point that most
of
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apply
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employers
Add an article
the employers
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 prefer to hire a
person
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 with already good command of their work so that, they can immediately start and there would be no need of orientation sessions and waste of time on training for specific
job
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 requirements. It is said that
filled
Correct article usage
a filled
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 tummy and
out of
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apply
show examples
worries
Correct your spelling
worried
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 mind
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
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 better. If the
sales
Use synonyms
 company would cater for these along with other prerequisites/ requirements for
sales
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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, it will accrue better
sales
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 vis
a vis profits
Correct the article-noun agreement
vis profits
a vis profit
show examples
. Proverbs in some cases
goes
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go
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 well that the employee earns his incentives by himself”
”
Change the punctuation
apply
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 In conclusion, higher salaries and
sales
Use synonyms
 commissions can move a
person
Use synonyms
 in the organization for more productivity but other characteristics
be
Change the verb form
are
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also
Linking Words
 given due consideration.
Submitted by ammaramaqsood60 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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