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Band 4

Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole.

#people #meat #fish #health #world
It is believed by some that avoiding
fish
 and
meat
 is not benefiting only their health, but
also
 the whole world. I believe that
this
 is an unnecessary mindset, which is crucial for some people’s health and
way
 of fighting with
/
against nature’s laws. Eating
meat
 and
fish
 can be
unacceptful
Correct your spelling
unacceptable
/
unacceptable for the vegetarian society due to these individuals’
way
 of thinking and they’re leading healthier
Correct your spelling
life
lives
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
/
lives and stopping the
animal’s
Change noun form
animal
show examples
 world from extinction.
However
, even though these people’s morals are not wrong, I do not accept them fully. In my opinion, eating other living species is the
way
 the food chain is working. The same ways /
way
 tigers eat hiennahs.
Although
, there is nothing wrong with protecting other breathing creatures, there are a number of factors why it is harmful to some human’s /human organisms.
For instance
, I have a friend that stopped eating
meat
 and
fish
. Even though she
Correct your spelling
feels
feeled
Correct your spelling
felt
show examples
/
felt calmer for not being accountable for a cow’s death, she started feeling dizzy, sick and out of energy. Afterwards, she went to the doctor only to find out that her body is not responding well to the lack of nutrients
meat
Change preposition
in meat
show examples
 and
fish
 gained her.
Consequently
, the doctor prescribed her these supplements she had to take
instead
 of
fish
 and
meat
. In conclusion, people should not walk towards
Mother’s
Change noun form
Mother
show examples
 nature, but learn how to value our resources. If we were more reasonable
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
/
in the
way
 we hunt animals,
this
 topic would not be an issue for some activists.
Submitted by tanya2013draganova on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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