People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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A 政府的医疗金有限 B 应该是给更多真正需要帮助的人,如因为工作导致的慢性病。如果都一样看待不公平 C 所以自己作死的人应该承担更多的医疗费 A 人们会因为医疗保障忽视自己的健康 B 如果因为作死要承担更多医疗费,这个会作为一个警告,他们会开始重视自己的建康 Nowadays
health
problems have become one of the major concerns among
people
. There are many factors
can
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that can
show examples
lead to
health
problems and unhealthy ways of living including eating disorder is one of them. It has been argued that
people
Correct pronoun usage
who contract
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contract
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who contract
show examples
diseases due to their
Replace the word
failure
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failing
Replace the word
failure
show examples
to lead a
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
lifestyle should afford more medical bills. I totally agree with
this
idea.
To begin
with, one major reason is that governmental funds for healthcare are limited and
such
funds should be used in
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
places. To be more specific,
people
who suffer from occupational diseases and elders who have age-related problems
such
as cancer,
arithtis
Correct your spelling
arthritis
and heart disease, deserve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial
supports
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support
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from governments
more
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apply
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. It would be unfair for these
people
if
such
supports are mainly used for ones who do not care about their own
health
and the budget for healthcare is
infficient
Correct your spelling
inefficient
for others.
Therefore
,
people
who suffer from disease due to their disorder habits should divide the financial burden on governments to some extent. In
this
way, the budget for medical
purpose
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purposes
show examples
can be saved and help others who deserve it more. Another reason why I advocate
this
opinion is that
this
method can allow
people
to raise their awareness about the importance of being healthy. Actually, most citizens prefer to lead a sedentary lifestyle and do not exercise enough because no matter how exorbitant their medical
fee
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fees
show examples
will be, the government will be responsible for it, which makes them believe that being unhealthy is not significant.
Nevertheless
, If
people
are requested to afford some of their expenditures in curing diseases, they would be aware of the fact that the price of having a long-term disorder
diets
Correct the article-noun agreement
diet
show examples
and unhealthy lifestyle is prohibitive,
therefore
starting to have
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
diet and do more physical exercises. In conclusion, I believe it is reasonable to ask
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
group
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groups
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of
people
to pay more medical
fee
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fees
show examples
for themselves. Not only will it be fair to other
people
who really need medical help
for
Change preposition
from
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the government, but it is
also
necessary for individuals to pay more attention to the paramount importance of
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
overall
health
and fitness.
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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • burden
  • lifestyle-related diseases
  • healthcare systems
  • personal responsibility
  • preventable diseases
  • healthcare costs
  • ethical considerations
  • penalizing
  • discrimination
  • socio-economic groups
  • deterrent
  • health education
  • financial penalties
  • health inequalities
  • access to healthcare
  • preventive medicine
  • public health goals
  • promoting healthy lifestyles
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