Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become useful adults. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A number of
people
think that
competition
between
children
should focus
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
on their
goals
. others think that
children
who learn to cooperate than compete become mature in life. In
this
should discuss both sides and give your personal point of view as well.
To begin
with, some
people
believe that
competition
in
children
makes them more energetic towards their
goals
.
Firstly
,
children
who are weak in any department, so they start working on their weak points to the winner the
competition
.
In other words
,
children
start working on them and try harder to score better.
For instance
, whenever My cousin challenge me that
you
Correct pronoun usage
I
show examples
cannot score better than
me
Correct pronoun usage
I
show examples
, so I get more focus on that specific subject to
winner
Replace the word
win
show examples
the
competition
.
Moreover
,
people
think that
competition
can bring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
spirit among their
children
. In sense of
Add a comma
,winner
show examples
winner
Replace the word
winning
show examples
the
competition
children
leave their laziness towards their
goals
.
For example
, All my friends are so lazy, but when it
come
Change the verb form
comes
show examples
up to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
competition
they
all
Add a missing verb
are all
show examples
so serious about it.
On the other hand
, some
people
argue that kids who learn to help rather than compete become fruitful adults.
Secondly
,
children
learn how to talk to poor and needy
people
.
In other words
,
children
get to know about that how to react and talk to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
who are poor and needy.
For example
, In Pakistan, the school system they tech to how to operate with poor and needy
people
.
Moreover
,
people
think that
children
should be taught them
cooperateoperate
Correct your spelling
cooperate operate
with fellow mates. while competing many
Change preposition
of
show examples
the participants got injured,but they taught them to cooperate with them.
lastly
, some
people
think that in sense of competing
children
should be motivated by their
goals
. Others think that
children
learn to cooperate rather than compete to become
a useful elders
Correct the article-noun agreement
a useful elder
useful elders
show examples
. In my opinion,
children
should be taught to cooperate rather than competitors
such
as they know how to treat poor and needy
people
and
people
who get injured while competing.
Submitted by aahil922 on

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Your opinion

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • compete
  • cooperate
  • useful
  • adults
  • skills
  • motivation
  • drive
  • resilience
  • failure
  • workplace
  • empathy
  • social skills
  • reduce
  • stress
  • pressure
  • balanced
  • approach
  • ideal
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