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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become useful adults. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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A number of
people
Use synonyms
 think that
competition
Use synonyms
 between
children
Use synonyms
 should focus
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
on their
goals
Use synonyms
. others think that
children
Use synonyms
 who learn to cooperate than compete become mature in life. In
this
Linking Words
 should discuss both sides and give your personal point of view as well.
To begin
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 with, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
competition
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 in
children
Use synonyms
 makes them more energetic towards their
goals
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.
Firstly
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,
children
Use synonyms
 who are weak in any department, so they start working on their weak points to the winner the
competition
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.
In other words
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,
children
Use synonyms
 start working on them and try harder to score better.
For instance
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, whenever My cousin challenge me that
you
Correct pronoun usage
I
show examples
 cannot score better than
me
Correct pronoun usage
I
show examples
, so I get more focus on that specific subject to
winner
Replace the word
win
show examples
 the
competition
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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,
people
Use synonyms
 think that
competition
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 can bring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
spirit among their
children
Use synonyms
. In sense of
Add a comma
,winner
show examples
winner
Replace the word
winning
show examples
 the
competition
Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
 leave their laziness towards their
goals
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.
For example
Linking Words
, All my friends are so lazy, but when it
come
Change the verb form
comes
show examples
 up to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
competition
Use synonyms
 they
all
Add a missing verb
are all
show examples
 so serious about it.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 argue that kids who learn to help rather than compete become fruitful adults.
Secondly
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,
children
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 learn how to talk to poor and needy
people
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.
In other words
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,
children
Use synonyms
 get to know about that how to react and talk to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who are poor and needy.
For example
Linking Words
, In Pakistan, the school system they tech to how to operate with poor and needy
people
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.
Moreover
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,
people
Use synonyms
 think that
children
Use synonyms
 should be taught them
cooperateoperate
Correct your spelling
cooperate operate
 with fellow mates. while competing many
Change preposition
of
show examples
the participants got injured,but they taught them to cooperate with them.
lastly
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, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that in sense of competing
children
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 should be motivated by their
goals
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. Others think that
children
Use synonyms
 learn to cooperate rather than compete to become
a useful elders
Correct the article-noun agreement
a useful elder
useful elders
show examples
. In my opinion,
children
Use synonyms
 should be taught to cooperate rather than competitors
such
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 as they know how to treat poor and needy
people
Use synonyms
 and
people
Use synonyms
 who get injured while competing.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • compete
  • cooperate
  • useful
  • adults
  • skills
  • motivation
  • drive
  • resilience
  • failure
  • workplace
  • empathy
  • social skills
  • reduce
  • stress
  • pressure
  • balanced
  • approach
  • ideal
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