IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

To meet the growing need for food to support an increasing population, a country should make use of edible insects as a food source. However, some people believe that insects are not only unhealthy but harvesting them will also negatively affect nature. What are the benefits and drawbacks of eating insects?

#food #support #population #country #insects #source #people #nature
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In the present,
a
Correct article usage
apply
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rising inhabitant
lead
Change the verb form
leads
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 to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of food supply so
Use synonyms
insect
Add an article
the insect
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 is one of
choices
Add an article
the choices
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 to support
people
Use synonyms
’s consumption. While some
people
Use synonyms
 consider that nature will be interrupted by hunting lots of
Use synonyms
insect
Change to a plural noun
insects
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also
Linking Words
its
Change the pronoun
it
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 is not healthy for eating. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, the advantages and disadvantages of consuming flies will be discussed as follow. Pros of
insect
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 have actually lots of things because it holds various
of
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apply
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protein types so
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 can boost humans’ energy as much as
people
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expectation
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expect
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
bugs
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 are less of
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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waste
calories
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of calories
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 for
Correct your spelling
human
Correct article usage
the humen
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humen
Correct your spelling
human
 body and
also
Linking Words
 it’s appropriate for digestion.
Hence
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
insect
Add an article
the insect
an insect
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 is edible things which come together with
huge
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a huge
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 benefit.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
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 who prefer to eat
bugs
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 often get beautiful body shapes because of less fat and high protein.
Therefore
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, flies are one of the ways that can support the diet of humans.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, consuming
bugs
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 excessively can cause terrible problems because it has some substances that be able to block vitamin absorption in the body.
In addition
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,
people
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 who got high blood pressure, diabetes, or some health condition will be in danger because of overwhelming protein.
For instance
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,
bugs
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
that are
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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fried with massive oil can increase double of fat for health.
Thus
Linking Words
, it should be considered to consume
this
Linking Words
 kind of food because it still has some evil effects on our bodies. To conclude, even though
Use synonyms
insect
Fix the agreement mistake
insects
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get
Change the verb form
gets
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 colossal benefits to our health,
it
Correct pronoun usage
we
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 should be concerned to eat in the correct way. Because
of
Change preposition
apply
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serious issues will happen to the physical functions. Eventually, I still won’t advise consuming it without having knowledge.
Submitted by krongporn.c on

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