IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Advertisements are becoming more and more common in our everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?

#advertisements #life #development
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In
this
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 day and age, advertising is growing so
people
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 can see
advertisements
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 everywhere.
Although
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this
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 may have many positives, I personally believe that the negatives of
this
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 trend are more significant. On the one hand, advertising has several beneficial effects.
First,
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advertising is really important for the revenue of the brand. A
lot
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 of
people
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 may know about the
products
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 of a brand from eye-catching
advertisements
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 and it may become popular in the market. From that, more and more
products
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 will be bought and the revenue of the brand will grow.
Second,
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advertisements
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 can provide consumers with information about various
products
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 and services. A lack of information may cause consumers to purchase low-quality
products
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.
Therefore
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,
advertisements
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 are very vital in choosing
products
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.
For example
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, among different kinds of cell phones, adverts will allow customers to know which one is suitable for them.
On the other hand
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, it is my firm belief that the drawbacks of
advertisements
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 are weightier.
To begin
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 with, the appearance of too many
advertisements
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 may be annoying.
This
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 is particularly true when
people
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 are enjoying their favourite songs or films.
Moreover
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, there are many brands in the market that use
advertisements
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 that are not true about the product. Many
people
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 believe those adverts but when they receive the product, it is different from the advertisement.
Therefore
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, a
lot
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 of consumers will no longer trust the
advertisements
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 and a
lot
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 of brands can not use
advertisements
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 to promote their
products
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. In conclusion,
although
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advertisements
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 have a
lot
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 of upsides, I am firmly convinced that the downsides are more considerable.
Submitted by huynhtrucminhthu39 on

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task response
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of advertisements. The position is clearly stated and supported throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a proper introduction, body paragraphs discussing the advantages and disadvantages of advertisements, and a conclusion summarizing the position. Transition words are used effectively to connect ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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