IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that government should spend money on building new train lines,while others believe that improving public transport is more beneficial.Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #government #money #train #lines #transport
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that authorities need spare more money on
train
Use synonyms
 lines ,while others believe that others modes of transportation
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 more lucrative. Despite ,metro journeys being cheaper than
road
Use synonyms
transport
Use synonyms
 inclined toward the latter statement because
this
Linking Words
 mode of
transport
Use synonyms
 is very ubiquitous. some argue that the local regimes
need
Add the particle
toneed
show examples
 invest more money in the development of
train
Use synonyms
 paths. It is very obvious that developing
this
Linking Words
 mode of
transport
Use synonyms
 is included a high budget,
although
Linking Words
 it is cheaper to travel by
train
Use synonyms
 and safer than
road
Use synonyms
transport
Use synonyms
,
Correct article usage
the
show examples
availability of stations is limited to very few locations,
Thus
Linking Words
 I believe that govt should spend more of the budget on developing the
road
Use synonyms
transport
Use synonyms
 than the
train
Use synonyms
. For ,example UK Metro stations are covered only 10 provinces while
roadways
Use synonyms
 are all over the country. On other hand Enhancing
Roadways
Use synonyms
 are more advantageous because , once
roadways
Use synonyms
 build they can be used for multiple purposes including private shipment, Bikes and cycle lanes.
Linking Words
furthermore
Add a comma
,furthermore
show examples
 with
roadways
Use synonyms
 local committees can implement toll tax which leads to
lucrative
Add an article
a lucrative
show examples
 business for Ruling authorities.
For example
Linking Words
 In India with
Road
Use synonyms
 toll tax is collected on each trip, which leads to
collect
Wrong verb form
collecting
show examples
 the total investment which was spent on developing
roadways
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
Although
Linking Words
 building
train
Use synonyms
 routes is beneficial to the public with cheaper and safer
transport
Use synonyms
,
Road
Use synonyms
transport
Use synonyms
 is much more beneficial with its wider usage and easy access.
Submitted by kadem.naresh286 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: