Many people think technological devices such as smart phones, tablets and mobile phones bring more disadvantages than advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #devices #phones #tablets

It is often argued that salient electronic gadgets like smartphones, tablets and feature phones do more

damages

Fix the agreement mistake

damage

show examples

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

users

instead

of showing prominent benefits.

Although

I agree that

such

devices

play a significant role in our daily activities, I think that proper attention should

also

be given

Change preposition

show examples

the

health

hazards these technological masterpieces pose.

This

essay will illustrate my reasoning behind the aforementioned statement. On the one hand, we use tablets and

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

daily after getting up from bed to read newspapers,

browse

Correct word choice

and browse

show examples

Facebook, YouTube and

internet

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

for gathering knowledge on current affairs of our local and national as well as international

community

Fix the agreement mistake

communities

show examples

Also

, we send greetings,

Correct word choice

and do

show examples

voice and video calls to our nearest and dearest ones by tapping numerous apps.

Moreover

, we know how to use these gadgets conveniently to collect data for our upcoming class tests and group projects.

For instance

, independent researchers scroll through a lot of journal

webpages

Correct your spelling

web pages

show examples

to list information on their ongoing research works. So we can’t definitely deny the contribution of these

devices

as they assist us a lot to keep pace with ongoing occurring.

On the other hand

, these electronic

appliance

Change the determiner

appliances

show examples

emit dangerous radiation in the form of

X-ray

Fix the agreement mistake

X-rays

show examples

and UV-ray which can cause

Remove the article

apply

show examples

great harm to our

health

. Particularly, when we stay with these for a longer period, we begin to feel dizzy. Sometimes, we get obsessed by noticing our competitors posting their success stories on social platforms. Particularly, if we keep these

devices

to our heads while sleeping at night, they can cause cancer and severe disturbance to

brain’s

Correct article usage

the brain’s

show examples

neural network gradually.

In addition

, they can create fire hazards while charging for

longer

Add an article

a longer

show examples

period

Fix the agreement mistake

periods

show examples

. That’s why

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

also

can’t neglect the

health

concerns

Correct pronoun usage

that originated

show examples

originated

Wrong verb form

originating

show examples

from these

devices

. To recapitulate, though I agree that smartphones or tablets have

beneficial

Add an article

a beneficial

show examples

impact on us in terms of major assistance in our regular work styles, I think that more concentration should be given

Change preposition

show examples

how to reduce the

health

risks these symbols of tech successes pose to humans.

Submitted by souravroy2k9 on Fri Oct 28 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

339 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

convenience
communication
access to information
efficiency
addiction
privacy concerns
distraction
isolation
screen time
digital divide

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
In most successful organisations, some people believe that communication between managers and workers is important, other people say that other factors are more important. What is your opinion?
Communication has always been an important part of life. While other factors should not be ignored, I believe that comunication between managers and workers is very important an should be valued if not higher at least as high as all the other possible points.
8.5
band
Your Local Travel Agent Recommended A Place To Visit And You Are Now Having A Good Time There. Write A Letter To Your Travel Agent And Tell Them The Following: – What You Have Been Doing – What You Hope To Do Before The End Of Your Holiday – Say Why You Like This Place
I am writing to you as promised in order to share my holiday experience, so far.
4
band
The best way to sole the environmental problem is to increase the price of fuel .To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement.
Nowadays, globally is a big issues environmental problem. However, this issues pop- up day by day. Thus, I argued that, the affecting main this situation people are using lots of vehicles. Nevertheless, I totally agree with the above statement. Due to, one thing is within short period time can sole this issues. On the other hand, when fuel price increased society will move alternative source of energy. In this my opinion, I am going to explain with relevant examples further paragraphs.
5
band
Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think it can be harmful for children. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children doing paid work?
On the one hand, there are several benefits of do paid work. A common advantage is that the jobs to do paid work are very easy find. For example, the children just need apply to in suitable job for their because nowaday having many the jobs such as: serve the restaurant, seller, serve the coffee, etc,... this jobs alway recruiting staff so the children can apply to work anywhere. Another positive aspect can be that children can do paid work that paid works are very easy do and don't need knowledge high. For example, children apply to a serve the coffee which is very easy do because the server just work is order drink, food, etc,... and ship to customer that is very easy do and don't think much, don't need specialize high.
7.5
band
In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems? What measures could be taken to solve them?
Nowadays, in some western nations especially in America, the proportion of obese people is increasing while the figure for healthy lifestyles and fitness is declining heavily. From my perspective, unhealthy diets and sedentary working styles are the main reasons for this negative tendency explained in this essay.

Many people think technological devices such as smart phones, tablets and mobile phones bring more disadvantages than advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In most successful organisations, some people believe that communication between managers and workers is important, other people say that other factors are more important. What is your opinion?

Your Local Travel Agent Recommended A Place To Visit And You Are Now Having A Good Time There. Write A Letter To Your Travel Agent And Tell Them The Following: – What You Have Been Doing – What You Hope To Do Before The End Of Your Holiday – Say Why You Like This Place

The best way to sole the environmental problem is to increase the price of fuel .To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think it can be harmful for children. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children doing paid work?

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems? What measures could be taken to solve them?