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Band 7

Prison is the common way most countries try to solve the problem of crime. however, a more effective solution is to provide the public with a better education. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#prison #countries #crime #education
It is considered by some individuals that putting
people
 behind the bars in prisons is the best method to tackle criminal activities. In my opinion, I believe that educating the citizens is more efficient because education provides
people
 with adequate information and
also
 helps their choices.
To begin
 with, education serves as a bedrock by which
people
 can get
knowledge
 about anything. By
this
 I mean, when the members of society are educated appropriately on the rules, norms and requirements to keep their community safe, it becomes easier for everyone to know what to do.
For example
, when drivers are informed about the speed limits on different roads, it becomes easier for them not to err because they are aware of the rules. Educating citizens
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
 serves as a tool to provide adequate
knowledge
 which will reduce crimes. Another factor to consider is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 educating the public helps them to make choices in their daily lives.
In other words
, when
people
 have information about actions and the attaining consequences, they find decision-making easier.
This
 usually makes
people
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
choose good
instead
 of evil because they know all the effects of their actions.
For instance
, if a child knows stealing is an offence and he would be sentenced for it, the child would most likely choose not to steal. Impacting members of the community with
knowledge
 will assist them in decision-making. In conclusion, while some individuals believe incarcerating
people
 is an effective method to combat crimes in our society, I think educating
people
 is a more efficient way because it gives everyone the
knowledge
 base required to make choices.
Submitted by beansola on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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