In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Shifting from the countryside to developed
cities
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has become a common trend in the contemporary world.
This
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is because many feel that they might be able to get better opportunities,
however
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, I do not believe
this
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is advantageous because it will create relentless pressure on existing public
services
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.
People
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nowadays are really concerned about their future and
due to
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this
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, they will need better
services
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. Basically,
this
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is the main reason to move from rural areas to
cities
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. They think if they live in a city, they might get efficient
services
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such
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as education, healthcare, and transportation, and they will get jobs with expected remuneration.
For example
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, in India,
people
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from different villages are trying to change their place towards
cities
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like New Delhi as
such
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they might lead a preferable life and make a substantial amount of money for the time ahead.
In contrast
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, I think that leaving rural areas is not a wise decision because if a large portion of
people
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are trying to leave villages it would create lots of challenges in the existing public
services
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in
cities
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.
That is
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to say that opportunities that are already given to
people
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cannot fulfil the desire of extra citizens who tend to live in
cities
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.
Consequently
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, there are limited chances to get a higher quality of
services
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from authorities.
For instance
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, Dhaka is one of the most densely populated
cities
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in the world as many
people
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come here only for long cherished opportunities but eventually, they cannot get what they want. In conclusion,
people
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always prefer a quality life that allows them to choose places like the metropolis
that is
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why many of them try to live in urban areas,
however
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, I disagree because it might produce lots of problems with the
services
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that are already available in
cities
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.
Submitted by mohammad39 on

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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion and argument, yet to reach a higher score, work on expanding the depth and diversity of your arguments. Consider both sides of the argument more thoroughly, adding more examples and details to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance cohesion and coherence, aim to use a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will help to better connect your ideas and improve the flow of your essay. Also, pay close attention to paragraphing, ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
Structure
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively bookending your argument which is key for a high score.
Examples and Support
Your main points are supported by specific examples, which strengthens your essay. Continue using relevant examples to support your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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