In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #be #case #development

Shifting from the countryside to developed

cities

has become a common trend in the contemporary world.

This

is because many feel that they might be able to get better opportunities,

however

, I do not believe

this

is advantageous because it will create relentless pressure on existing public

services

People

nowadays are really concerned about their future and

due to

this

, they will need better

services

. Basically,

this

is the main reason to move from rural areas to

cities

. They think if they live in a city, they might get efficient

services

such

as education, healthcare, and transportation, and they will get jobs with expected remuneration.

For example

, in India,

people

from different villages are trying to change their place towards

cities

like New Delhi as

such

they might lead a preferable life and make a substantial amount of money for the time ahead.

In contrast

, I think that leaving rural areas is not a wise decision because if a large portion of

people

are trying to leave villages it would create lots of challenges in the existing public

services

cities

That is

to say that opportunities that are already given to

people

cannot fulfil the desire of extra citizens who tend to live in

cities

Consequently

, there are limited chances to get a higher quality of

services

from authorities.

For instance

, Dhaka is one of the most densely populated

cities

in the world as many

people

come here only for long cherished opportunities but eventually, they cannot get what they want. In conclusion,

people

always prefer a quality life that allows them to choose places like the metropolis

that is

why many of them try to live in urban areas,

however

, I disagree because it might produce lots of problems with the

services

that are already available in

cities

Submitted by mohammad39 on Sat Apr 20 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

Your essay presents a clear opinion and argument, yet to reach a higher score, work on expanding the depth and diversity of your arguments. Consider both sides of the argument more thoroughly, adding more examples and details to support your points.

Coherence and Cohesion

To enhance cohesion and coherence, aim to use a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will help to better connect your ideas and improve the flow of your essay. Also, pay close attention to paragraphing, ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.

Structure

You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively bookending your argument which is key for a high score.

Examples and Support

Your main points are supported by specific examples, which strengthens your essay. Continue using relevant examples to support your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

300 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Nowadays an increasing numbers of profession such as doctors and teachers are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can done to solve this.
Due to the rapid growth of technology , the world has come a long way therefore the lifestyle of people has changed a lot in the past few years . In the cutting edge era , the world become an global village . In the current scenario , it becomes very common to migrate to cities or other countries in order to find better job opportunities and lifestyle . In this contemporary epoch , it is very common to see professions like doctors , engineers and teachers leave their country to work in foreign countries . There is a range of conflicting arguments related to the assertion but every every setback comes a solution . In the succeeding monograph, I intend to delve into the setbacks as well as proffer remedies to curb this menace .
6
band
Nowadays,many people choose to be self-employed,rather than to work for a company or organisation. why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantage of being self-employed?
Currently, many individuals opt to run their own businesses instead of working for a particular organization. From my point of view, this viewpoint may be a negative trend, which provides some drawbacks.
7
band
Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year.Some people argued that the money should spent on improving living standards on Earth.Do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that the government has spent lots of money on space exploration annually.Despite bringing the breakthroughs for the future,it still is a controversial point.This writer would contend that we should ameliorate for our society before thinking of studying about planets and stars.
7.5
band
In many countries, the population of older people is steadily in creasing. Dose this trend have positive or negative effects on society?
Technology change and increasing personal wealth have contributed to the improvement of life expectations, and many countries have seen their population ageing at an unprecedented pace. The problems of this demographic change far outweigh its positive impact.
7
band
8. Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. how far do you agree or disagree with the above views? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. ( 7)
It is well-accepted that university certificate or diploma is one of must accesses during many job applications in the current workforce worldwide; therefore, the majority of parents tackle to help their child or children be enrolled in one of the top universities. While many people support that completing a course of the university will ensure a well-paid occupation, others claim that experience gained from work after school is more important to secure a good occupation. I tend to agree with the former. The essay will discuss the importance and necessity of completing a course of university education.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Nowadays an increasing numbers of profession such as doctors and teachers are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can done to solve this.

Nowadays,many people choose to be self-employed,rather than to work for a company or organisation. why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantage of being self-employed?

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year.Some people argued that the money should spent on improving living standards on Earth.Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, the population of older people is steadily in creasing. Dose this trend have positive or negative effects on society?