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Band 3

Some people think that reducing income inequality is critical to ensuring a happier society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #income #inequality #society
Although
 some
people
 might think that reducing
income
 inequality leads to a happier society, I believe that not only it doesn't increase
people
's satisfaction with life but quite the opposite, it decreases
people
's satisfaction. Throughout history, we've seen many examples of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
socialism
Replace the word
socialist
show examples
 type of
economies
Fix the agreement mistake
economy
show examples
 that
incerasing
Correct your spelling
increasing
increasingly
income
 equality doesn't help
people
 grow. It can result in lower rates of competition in companies and a
disfunctional
Correct your spelling
dysfunctional
 economy. Moving toward
income
 equality between different professions in society, eliminates
people
's motivation toward important and
well paid
Add a hyphen
well-paid
show examples
 jobs and after a generation or two, we would see
people
 satisfied with what may come
in
Change preposition
apply
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their
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
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, and
this
 kind of psychology affects
work spaces
Correct your spelling
workspaces
show examples
 as well, it will decrease their motivation to compete for producing better quality products or
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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better quality services to customers. One of the main benefits of a capitalistic economical system was helping
gears
Correct article usage
the gears
show examples
 of
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 to run at a faster pace, boost
people
's
income
 and
also
motivate
Wrong verb form
motivating
show examples
 companies to compete for customer increase by providing better goods. so for that reason, reducing
income
 inequality will make societies
to
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apply
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step into the realm of
Correct article usage
a socialism
show examples
socialism
Change noun form
socialism's
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 economical system, and
as a result
 of that matter, hinders
economical
Correct article usage
the economical
show examples
 pace and force it to break in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 long run. To sum up, even though trying to minimize the gap between
people
's
income
 can be a good thing,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
trying to decrease it can result in
people
's dissatisfaction with life.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Income disparity
  • Social harmony
  • Access to
  • Healthcare
  • Opportunities
  • Community connections
  • Social tensions
  • Motivation
  • Innovation
  • Achievable
  • Desirable
  • Government policies
  • Tax reforms
  • Social welfare
  • Minimum wage
  • International comparisons
  • Psychological impact
  • Self-esteem
  • Mental health
  • Economic growth
  • Income brackets
  • Wealth distribution
  • Social mobility
  • Universal basic income
  • Redistribution of wealth
  • Gini coefficient
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