IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that reducing income inequality is critical to ensuring a happier society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #income #inequality #society
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Although
Linking Words
 some
people
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 might think that reducing
income
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 inequality leads to a happier society, I believe that not only it doesn't increase
people
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's satisfaction with life but quite the opposite, it decreases
people
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's satisfaction. Throughout history, we've seen many examples of
a
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apply
show examples
socialism
Replace the word
socialist
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 type of
economies
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economy
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 that
incerasing
Correct your spelling
increasing
increasingly
income
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 equality doesn't help
people
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 grow. It can result in lower rates of competition in companies and a
disfunctional
Correct your spelling
dysfunctional
 economy. Moving toward
income
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 equality between different professions in society, eliminates
people
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's motivation toward important and
well paid
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well-paid
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 jobs and after a generation or two, we would see
people
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 satisfied with what may come
in
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apply
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their
ways
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way
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, and
this
Linking Words
 kind of psychology affects
work spaces
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workspaces
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 as well, it will decrease their motivation to compete for producing better quality products or
a
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apply
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better quality services to customers. One of the main benefits of a capitalistic economical system was helping
gears
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the gears
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 of
economy
Add an article
the economy
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 to run at a faster pace, boost
people
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's
income
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 and
also
Linking Words
motivate
Wrong verb form
motivating
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 companies to compete for customer increase by providing better goods. so for that reason, reducing
income
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 inequality will make societies
to
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apply
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step into the realm of
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a socialism
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socialism
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socialism's
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 economical system, and
as a result
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 of that matter, hinders
economical
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the economical
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 pace and force it to break in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 long run. To sum up, even though trying to minimize the gap between
people
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's
income
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 can be a good thing,
but
Correct word choice
apply
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trying to decrease it can result in
people
Use synonyms
's dissatisfaction with life.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Income disparity
  • Social harmony
  • Access to
  • Healthcare
  • Opportunities
  • Community connections
  • Social tensions
  • Motivation
  • Innovation
  • Achievable
  • Desirable
  • Government policies
  • Tax reforms
  • Social welfare
  • Minimum wage
  • International comparisons
  • Psychological impact
  • Self-esteem
  • Mental health
  • Economic growth
  • Income brackets
  • Wealth distribution
  • Social mobility
  • Universal basic income
  • Redistribution of wealth
  • Gini coefficient
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