Today people are surrounded by advertising. This affects what people think is important and has a negative impact on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #impact #people’s #lives

In today's modern world, advancement in technology development has provided many ways to marketers of promoting their products and services to the public.

For example

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ads

, and online

ads

on video streaming websites, these

ads

are cluttered everywhere which in my opinion ultimately leads to a negative impact on behaviour and our mindset.

To begin

with, the advertiser usually promotes consumerism, which anchors on buying frequently. we are always told to buy new clothes

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and stay trendy, or we won't look cool without buying the latest iPhone. These advertisements create a habit that negatively affects individual financial status.

moreover

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Moreover

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, they use stereotypes, through advertising, they create a feeling toward how a certain group of people should look like.

For example

, beauty creams tailored towards women, try to project the white colour of a woman as superior to the other colour, and women must accept

this

projection that the media portrays and consider

this

as having higher status.

Additionally

, mind cluttering everywhere you see you may find an advertisement. In current times people desire to make their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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as simple as possible, but

due to

this

factor, we ultimately process thousands of information daily.

Furthermore

, with misleading details, companies often make products look amazing through their advertising design and stories. But it doesn't perform as described in the

ads

most of the time.

Additionally

, adverts generally create low self-esteem by manipulating thoughts and

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persuading you to buy products that will make you happy.

To conclude

, in my opinion, advertising deteriorates our mental health and sometimes gives us an unprecedented daily lifestyle dent.

As most

Correct word choice

Most

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people

are

Verb problem

apply

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blindly

following

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the trends without thinking about their consequences.

Submitted by samdanii678 on Sat Oct 29 2022

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task response

The essay provides a clear response to the task question, expressing an opinion on the impact of advertising on people's lives. The main ideas are relevant and supported with examples.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a logical structure and includes an introduction and conclusion. However, there is room for improvement in linking ideas and providing a smoother flow of information between paragraphs.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Today people are surrounded by advertising. This affects what people think is important and has a negative impact on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people argue that young people are unfit for holding significant positions in the government, while others maintain that it is beneficial for them to occupy such roles. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar; which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

In many parts of the world, families were larger in the past because people had more children. Do you think there were more advantages or disadvantages to being part of a large family in the past?

Some people believe that studying online is more effective than studying on campus while others disagree. Discuss both views.

Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place.What is your opionion about this?