Today people are surrounded by advertising. This affects what people think is important and has a negative impact on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #impact #people’s #lives

In today's modern world, advancement in technology development has provided many ways to marketers of promoting their products and services to the public.

For example

Correct your spelling

show examples

ads

, and online

ads

on video streaming websites, these

ads

are cluttered everywhere which in my opinion ultimately leads to a negative impact on behaviour and our mindset.

To begin

with, the advertiser usually promotes consumerism, which anchors on buying frequently. we are always told to buy new clothes

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and stay trendy, or we won't look cool without buying the latest iPhone. These advertisements create a habit that negatively affects individual financial status.

moreover

Capitalize word

Moreover

show examples

, they use stereotypes, through advertising, they create a feeling toward how a certain group of people should look like.

For example

, beauty creams tailored towards women, try to project the white colour of a woman as superior to the other colour, and women must accept

this

projection that the media portrays and consider

this

as having higher status.

Additionally

, mind cluttering everywhere you see you may find an advertisement. In current times people desire to make their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

as simple as possible, but

due to

this

factor, we ultimately process thousands of information daily.

Furthermore

, with misleading details, companies often make products look amazing through their advertising design and stories. But it doesn't perform as described in the

ads

most of the time.

Additionally

, adverts generally create low self-esteem by manipulating thoughts and

Change preposition

apply

show examples

persuading you to buy products that will make you happy.

To conclude

, in my opinion, advertising deteriorates our mental health and sometimes gives us an unprecedented daily lifestyle dent.

As most

Correct word choice

Most

show examples

people

are

Verb problem

apply

show examples

blindly

following

Wrong verb form

show examples

the trends without thinking about their consequences.

Submitted by samdanii678 on Sat Oct 29 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

The essay provides a clear response to the task question, expressing an opinion on the impact of advertising on people's lives. The main ideas are relevant and supported with examples.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a logical structure and includes an introduction and conclusion. However, there is room for improvement in linking ideas and providing a smoother flow of information between paragraphs.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Many people find it hard to balance their work with other parts of their lives. What problems does this cause? How can this problem be overcome?
Nowadays, work-life balance has become a daunting task for several individuals. This essay will discuss the causes involving working longer hours and the inability to time management. This essay will also suggest solutions involving managing time appropriately as well as reducing working hours.
6
band
Some people think that newspapers are the best media to learn and get information from, while others believe that the Internet is a better source. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some people believe the best source for learning and getting information from the newspaper;however, others think that the Internet is much better than newspapers.In my opinion, I think the Internet is a better source for getting information and learning.
6.5
band
nowdays, many people choose to be self- employes, rather than to work for a company or organaisation. why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantages of being self employed?
Currently, a number of people opt to possess their own jobs instead of working for companies or organizations. There are several reasons why people are partial to working on their own. The eagerness for independence and the pressures of colleagues are the two main reasons that stand out. This essay will delve into the mentioned case while discussing the demerits.
5
band
Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling, etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?
In this state-of-the-art era, the development of technology can be useful and harmful, connecting and dividing. This advancement has influenced the conventional ways of working because people are able to work from everywhere. This essay will elaborate on the merits and demerits of such development and show how the negative points outweigh the positive ones.
8.5
band
You have recently moved to a new neighborhood. Write a letter to a friend about your new neighborhood. In your letter: Describe the new neighborhood Explain why you moved there Talk about your neighbors Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows:
I hope this letter finds you well.

Today people are surrounded by advertising. This affects what people think is important and has a negative impact on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people find it hard to balance their work with other parts of their lives. What problems does this cause? How can this problem be overcome?

Some people think that newspapers are the best media to learn and get information from, while others believe that the Internet is a better source. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

nowdays, many people choose to be self- employes, rather than to work for a company or organaisation. why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantages of being self employed?

Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling, etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?

You have recently moved to a new neighborhood. Write a letter to a friend about your new neighborhood. In your letter: Describe the new neighborhood Explain why you moved there Talk about your neighbors Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: