Some people believe that to reduce the amount of time people spend commuting (travelling to work), parks and gardens close to city centres should be replaced by apartment buildings for commuters to live in. However, others disagree with this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #amount #time #work #parks #gardens #city #centres #apartment #buildings #commuters

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There has been a debate among

people

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who think it is beneficial for us to destroy parks and gardens and build

accomodations

Correct your spelling

accommodations

accommodation

for workers who commute to

city

Use synonyms

centres and those who

against

Add a missing verb

are against

show examples

this

Linking Words

idea. While

this

Linking Words

approach gives more flexibility for time and money to a limited number of

city

Use synonyms

commuters, overall, I believe the idea does not improve

total

Correct article usage

the total

show examples

satisfaction of the

people

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belonging to the society.

First

Linking Words

of all, it is obvious that if we built mass flats for men and women working in the urban areas where currently public open spaces exist, for those limited number of

people

Use synonyms

who can get into the housing, it would become extremely convenient.

For instance

Linking Words

, they can commute to work with less time and cost and that would become a significant advantage for them.

However

Linking Words

, the number of

people

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who are lucky enough to enjoy the merits

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

limited.

Thus

Linking Words

, those who cannot live in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

rooms in the centre of metropolitan areas need to continue

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

. Clearly, the total elevation of quality of life is not huge.

On the contrary

Linking Words

Change preposition

apply

show examples

destroying public relaxation places

such

Linking Words

as parks and gardens will significantly downgrade the environment of the

city

Use synonyms

as a whole.

For example

Linking Words

, trees and ponds will be replaced by flat buildings and

people

Use synonyms

lose places for walks and

play grounds

Correct your spelling

playgrounds

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where they can enjoy holidays.

In addition

Linking Words

, the landscape of the urban area would become less attractive and the value of the place may be decreased and it would even impact the price of the lands

Correct your spelling

nearby

show examples

near by

Correct your spelling

nearby

show examples

. Admittedly there are some pros and cons to

the

Remove the article

apply

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both

side

Fix the agreement mistake

sides

show examples

of the

arguments

Fix the agreement mistake

argument

show examples

however

Linking Words

, as a conclusion from

above

Correct article usage

the above

show examples

observations, I believe

this

Linking Words

idea of replacing public

leasure

Correct your spelling

leisure

lands

Change preposition

with

show examples

accomodations

Correct your spelling

accommodations

for

city

Use synonyms

workers is overall not wise, considering the significant drawbacks it may cause to the entire

people

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living in the area.

Submitted by michima2011 on Sat Oct 29 2022

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

315 words

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Some people believe that in order to give opportunities to new generations, companies should encourage high level employees who are older than 55 to retire.Do you agree or disagree?

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The animal species are becoming extinct due to human activities on laand and in sea l.What are the reasons and solutions?

the advantages and disadvantages of technology in education

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