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Band 5

The Internet is now used all around the world as a source of information and communication. However, it's often controversial, so many people think it needs to be controlled. Others believe there should be no interference whatsoever. Discuss both points of view, and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#internet #world #source #information #communication #people #interference #points
In the contemporary
world
, the
internet
 has revolutionised the way
people
 communicate with others
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
changes
Wrong verb form
changed
show examples
the education systems and various other parties.
Therefore
, today humans believe that
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
 is the mine to get information. Many
people
's opinions
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 that
usage
 of the
world
 wide web should be limited and the opposing party consider that it should not be controlled no matter what happens.
However
, I agree with the latter part as misuse of
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 can lead
people
 to serious consequences. To commence with,
Internet
 has the most un-censored
data
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
people
 all around the
world
 rely on
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
,
for
instance
Add the comma(s)
,instance
show examples
 road systems, education, military document
data
 etc is stored in the
world
 wide web.
Therefore
 limiting the
usage
 of the
internet
 for some users is important, if not the
world
 has to face different issues
such
 as cyber-attacks, where the
data
 is leaked as well as scams. As an example, in a
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
hospital the
data
 of each and every patient is stored in a cloud network which is related to the net, what if a cyber attack happens? all the
data
 will be leaked and
people
 will no longer have access to that information, due to these reasons government should limit the
usage
.
On the other hand
, we learn and share facts, figures and other
data
 through the web, and interrupting the
usage
 of these
data
 will affect many, mainly students and teachers.
Thus
 most half of the
world
 believes that information should be available to everyone at any time so that students can enhance their knowledge in education. To sum up, seeing the drawbacks of free
internet
usage
,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 government and other legal parties should implement laws and orders to protect the
world
.
Submitted by wathsala.lekamge1997 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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