n some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#n #cultures #children #message

In some societies, people are saying to their

children

, they can achieve all of their

goals

just by trying hard. There are some pros and cons That I will discuss in the forthcoming paragraphs. On the one hand,

this

approach has a positive benefit on a child’s motivation. To clarify, when a family admire its kids for

try

Wrong verb form

trying

show examples

harder for their

goals

, the result of their effort is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

success.

Consequently

, they are being motivated and

this

is so positive for them.

For instance

, I remember when I was at school, I had a difficult exam which causes a lot of stress

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

However

, I faced that issue and tackled it, just through my parent’s admiration.

On the other hand

, the important disadvantage of

this

belief is keeping

children

away from reality and giving them some incorrect perspectives. It means in some cases parents do not consider the availability of a number of achievements that encourage their kids to reach those

goals

As a result

, young people feel disappointed after

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they can not reach their

goals

Consequently

, parents should consider all the options before giving irrational motivation to their

children

For example

, I know a boy in my extended family who wanted to be a minister but his father just gave him unreal detail without the difficulties of

this

goal. So, after he realized

this

dream is so hard, he became depressed. To conclude my essay,

Although

this

approach brings some effective results for

children

receiving

Change the form of the verb

receive

show examples

their ambitions, it should pay attention to the accessibility of a dream and goal. Due to

this

fact, there are some advantages and disadvantages and they have an equal effect on the results.

Submitted by parsafatahi1998 on Sat Oct 29 2022

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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