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Band 2.5

People naturally resist making changes in their live. What kind of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest?

#people #changes
the bar chart illustrates the outcome of a survey about
puplic
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public
 who drink tea and
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coffee
coffe
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coffee
habits in
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different
diffrent
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different
 cities
of
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in
show examples
Australian
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the Australian
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 overall,
people
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the people
show examples
 who went to cofe for
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coffee
coffe
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coffee
 or tea in
last
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the last
show examples
 4 weeks
was
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were
show examples
 the highest level in
melbourne
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Melbourne
show examples
 and
hobart
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Hobart
show examples
 .there was
fluctuated
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fluctuation
show examples
 from one category to another between the cities ,
however
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,however
show examples
 the lowest
proportion
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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bought fresh
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coffee
coffe
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coffee
 in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks.
to begin
with
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,with
show examples
 in terms of the
proportion
 of
people
went
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who went
show examples
 to
Add an article
a cafe
the cafe
show examples
cafe
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cafes
show examples
 in
Melbane
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Melbourne
 63% and it is the same in
Hobart
 where less than 50%
people
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of people
show examples
 went to
cafee
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cafes
cafe
coffee
 in
Adlaide
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Adelaide
 .In
Sydeny
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Sydney
 more than 60% of
people
 went to
cafe
Add an article
a cafe
the cafe
show examples
 to drink a
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coffee
coffe
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coffee
 or tea.
secondly
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,secondly
show examples
Brisbane
 was more
proportion
 than Adelaide by 55%.
In addition
 to
this
 is that
bought
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buy
show examples
 instant coffee in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4
week
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weeks
show examples
 was
gradulally
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gradually
 increased between the cities so
hobart
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Hobart
show examples
 was
leaped
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leapt
show examples
 to 54% ,
however
 .
Sydeny
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Sydney
 dropped
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percentage
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a precentage
show examples
precentage
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percentage
less
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by less
show examples
 than 50
%
bo.
although
people
 bought instant
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coffee
coffe
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coffee
 less percentage in Melbourne by 47%. On
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other
Correct article usage
the onther
show examples
onther
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other
 hand , buying fresh coffee in
last
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the last
show examples
 4 weeks was the least
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proportion
proprtion
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proportion
 whereas just 34% in
Adelside
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Adelaide
 and
Brisbane
 .
Sydeny
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Sydney
progressevialy
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progressively
 grown by 44% .the
proportion
 of
people
bought
Correct pronoun usage
who bought
show examples
 fresh coffee
44
Add a missing verb
was 44
show examples
% in Melbourne and it is more percentage than
Change the capitalization
Brisbane
show examples
brisbane
Change preposition
in brisbane
show examples
 and
adelaide
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Adelaide
show examples
 .
by contrast
Hobart
 was
higher
Add an article
a higher
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proportion
 than
aldelaide
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Adelaide
 and
brisbane
Change the capitalization
Brisbane
show examples
37
Change preposition
at 37
show examples
%.
Submitted by falenazi14021402 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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