Some people say that outdoor activities benefit children's development rather than computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #activities #benefit #children #development #computer #games

Many people believe that children's development is benefited from outdoor activities rather than computer

games

. I completely agree with the statement as the former helps individuals in many ways.

This

essay shall discuss the details of my stance with examples in subsequent paragraphs.

To begin

with, the main advantage of outside play is that it keeps us healthy and individuals can gain good habits.

In other words

, people learn skills

such

as team spirit, believing in others, and never giving up and

this

also

involves physical activities which keep them fit.

Moreover

, individuals who have hobbies in sports can make a career out of it. To cite an example, there are many popular sports personalities like Virat Kohli, Messi, Ronaldo etc who are various famous and learn millions.

Thus

, outside playing helps us stay in good health and earn our living.

Furthermore

, playing indoor computer

games

can make us lazy and it does not support us in keeping the good shape as compared to outer.

Additionally

, using these devices more frequently can lead to strain in the eyes and in severe cases blindness.

For instance

, as per reports, children in the United States of America, play too many video

games

as a result

obesity and unhealthy eyes have become

a major issues

Correct the article-noun agreement

a major issue

major issues

show examples

. In conclusion, as discussed, the merits of outside tasks keep our body and mind in good shape whereas inside computer

games

lead to an unhealthy lifestyle.

Therefore

,I urge that outdoor sports should be encouraged more.

Submitted by soumya.khatua on Sun Oct 30 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

247 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

benefit
development
physical
promote
foster
social skills
teamwork
cognitive skills
problem-solving
abilities
well-being
hinder
isolation
interpersonal skills
sedentary
exposure
negatively affect
academic performance

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
In many modern societies, grandchildren rarely spend any quality time with their grandparents. Why do you think this is? What are the consequences of this trend?
People arguably that the grandchildren seldom have spare time with their grandparents these days. In this essay, I will explain about my perspectives and the consequences of this issue.
<4
band
Some people say history is one of the most important school subject. other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Part of the people thinks history is one of the most important school subjects. while others argue that science and technology are more important than history. I completely agree with this statement. The following paragraph will discuss.
5
band
Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some hobbies are easy and others are considered to be challenging in order to be enjoyable. I believe that both are can be fun, and I completely disagree with this statement. This essay will elaborate on this issue comprehensively.
7
band
Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?
The environment is witnessing adverse problems, such as the extinction of several species, and some of them are almost extinct. Although there are threatening factors, such as changes in global temperature and plastic pollution, humanity can take steps to diminish these problems.
7
band
The chart and table below give information about tourists at a particular holiday resort in Australia.
The pie chart and data from the table describe the number of tourists in Australia by origin and several categories. The data from the diagram is presented in percentages. In general, most foreign visitors are dominated by people from Asia. While European tourists spent the longest day in Australia compared to others.

Some people say that outdoor activities benefit children's development rather than computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Word Count

In many modern societies, grandchildren rarely spend any quality time with their grandparents. Why do you think this is? What are the consequences of this trend?

Some people say history is one of the most important school subject. other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

The chart and table below give information about tourists at a particular holiday resort in Australia.