Some people say that outdoor activities benefit children's development rather than computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #activities #benefit #children #development #computer #games

Many people believe that children's development is benefited from outdoor activities rather than computer

games

. I completely agree with the statement as the former helps individuals in many ways.

This

essay shall discuss the details of my stance with examples in subsequent paragraphs.

To begin

with, the main advantage of outside play is that it keeps us healthy and individuals can gain good habits.

In other words

, people learn skills

such

as team spirit, believing in others, and never giving up and

this

also

involves physical activities which keep them fit.

Moreover

, individuals who have hobbies in sports can make a career out of it. To cite an example, there are many popular sports personalities like Virat Kohli, Messi, Ronaldo etc who are various famous and learn millions.

Thus

, outside playing helps us stay in good health and earn our living.

Furthermore

, playing indoor computer

games

can make us lazy and it does not support us in keeping the good shape as compared to outer.

Additionally

, using these devices more frequently can lead to strain in the eyes and in severe cases blindness.

For instance

, as per reports, children in the United States of America, play too many video

games

as a result

obesity and unhealthy eyes have become

a major issues

Correct the article-noun agreement

a major issue

major issues

show examples

. In conclusion, as discussed, the merits of outside tasks keep our body and mind in good shape whereas inside computer

games

lead to an unhealthy lifestyle.

Therefore

,I urge that outdoor sports should be encouraged more.

Submitted by soumya.khatua on Sun Oct 30 2022

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Word Count

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

247 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

benefit
development
physical
promote
foster
social skills
teamwork
cognitive skills
problem-solving
abilities
well-being
hinder
isolation
interpersonal skills
sedentary
exposure
negatively affect
academic performance

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Some people say that outdoor activities benefit children's development rather than computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Word Count

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Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are most successful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.