IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Most people are not interested in how their food has been produced. They only care about how much it cost. How true is this statement? What influences people when they buy food?

#people #food #care #cost #influences
In the present
day
, the economy fluctuates. shifts of many factors.
For instance
, The war between Russia and Ukraine made the cost of goods to produce
food
 increase and the financial crisis in many countries in
this
day
; affects personnel expense payments
from
Change preposition
due to
show examples
 inflation and trade war. The reason is made the living expenses are higher than in the past before COVID-19 disease occurred, changing the mindset of
families
 when they decide to consume everything.
According to
 the situation on
this
day
, many
families
 want to save their money much as they can for the future. Which means they might calculate every expenditure
that is
 dependent.
This
 means the price of the meal is important for the household. Some
families
 decide to consume instant noodles too much because it's very cheap and easy to
cooking
Replace the word
cook
show examples
 but they
didn’t
Wrong verb form
don’t
show examples
 think about the effect on their well-being in the future.
While some
Correct word choice
Some
show examples
families
 choose to cook by themselves because the cost of ingredients is cheaper than you order on the delivery platform and it can save money on delivery costs too.
On the other hand
,
people
try
Wrong verb form
tried
show examples
 to choose to consume healthy
food
 rise for the past even
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
day
 the economy
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 decreased because they realise that good health is
important
Rephrase
as important
show examples
 as household finances. Every year
people
died
Wrong verb form
die
show examples
 from cancer
increasing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
because consumer behaviour impacts personal health like eating too much Sodium
include
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in
food
such
 as potato chips, instant noodles, and grilled pork belly. The reason makes
people
 change their behaviour to
have
Verb problem
be
show examples
 healthier.
For example
, eating too many vegetables and fruit, controlling the volume of meals that should be consumed each
day
 and exercising.
To conclude
, many
people
 want to revolutionise consumer behaviour. That makes the
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
show examples
 to decide eating are changed by the nutrition of
food
 and the
component
Fix the agreement mistake
components
show examples
 in the
food
. Even though money is very important for everyone
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
personal health should
become
Verb problem
come
show examples
 first.
Submitted by p.rassarin on

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