IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that product should be made to last as long as possible, while others think making the product cheap is more important. Discuss both views and express your opinion.

#people #product
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The market is loaded with a variety of products to choose from. While durability is
main
Change the article
the main
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 goal for some manufacturers ,the other half focuses on making it affordable for the common man. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will be discussing how both, a longer self-life and a cheaper price
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
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 the
product
Use synonyms
 ideal in its own way but when choosing one of them, the
cost effectiveness
Add a hyphen
cost-effectiveness
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 surpasses the benefits of
longevity
Add an article
the longevity
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 of any given
product
Use synonyms
. The more
Add a hyphen
long-lasting
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long lasting
Add a hyphen
long-lasting
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 the
product
Use synonyms
 is, the lesser
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the pollution caused by waste generated. Every item bought, has to be discarded after it wears and tears off, expires,
Correct word choice
or looses
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looses
Replace the word
loses
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 its function, purpose or viability . If it happens too soon, the management of all the
wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
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 produced, can
creative
Replace the word
create
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 a load on the planet.
For instance
Linking Words
,Due to
frequent
Correct article usage
the frequent
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 accumulation of waste and
unavailability
Correct article usage
the unavailability
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 of ways to tackle them, there is
steep
Add an article
a steep
the steep
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 rise in the number of landfills throughout the world. Longer durability can help
in
Change preposition
apply
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significantly
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
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 the amount of trash generated,
hence
Linking Words
 lowering the burden of waste management making it a sustainable option. Cheaper goods are accessible. The lesser the price, the more widespread use of that
product
Use synonyms
 becomes possible. More and more consumers can benefit from having a cheaper,
pocket- friendly
Correct your spelling
pocket-friendly
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 alternative.
For example
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, Low cost is even more crucial for the people of developing countries where a major part of the population is below
below
Remove the redundancy
apply
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poverty life. Not every person is affluent enough to purchase an expensive item so
Use synonyms
affordability
Add an article
the affordability
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 of any
product
Use synonyms
 increases the domain of buyers. The main goal of the manufacturing industry should be finding a balance between the price and the longevity of any good. But,
affordability
Use synonyms
 outweighs the fight between the two because, if people wouldn’t
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
able to afford it they will not be able to buy it.
This
Linking Words
 will
in
Add the comma(s)
,in
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 turn, increase the cost of
Use synonyms
product
Add an article
the product
a product
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 even
further
Linking Words
 making it a luxury which not every socio-economic
strata
Change to a singular noun
stratum
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 will be able to afford.
Thus
Linking Words
, to benefit
maximum
Correct article usage
the maximum
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people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
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affordability
Use synonyms
 is quite crucial. In conclusion,
affordability
Use synonyms
 can help the
product
Use synonyms
 to become popular, reach
door-to- door
Add a hyphen
door-to-door
show examples
 and benefit every person, be it rich or poor.
Submitted by isha.srivastava.13 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • durability
  • sustainability
  • environmental impact
  • affordability
  • customer loyalty
  • mass production
  • market share
  • financial savings
  • resource conservation
  • circular economy
  • economic activity
  • brand reputation
  • value for money
  • initial investment
  • job creation
What to do next:
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