In many cities, problems related to overpopulation are becoming more common. Some governments are now encouraging businesses and individuals to move out of cities to rural areas. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, many cities more commonly facing
with
the overpopulation issue, Change preposition
apply
therefore
some governments suggested
for individuals and businesses Wrong verb form
suggest
to
move to rural Fix the infinitive
apply
areas
. The advantages of this
do not overweight the disadvantage, due to the fact that the place of residence was changed and availability
of entertainment and comfort became less in comparison to residents of Correct article usage
the availability
city
, Add an article
the city
people
will try to return their former comfort to their lives thereby harming the environment.
On the one hand, people
who are engaged in creativity will find rural area
, quitter and, more inspiring, Fix the agreement mistake
areas
also
rural areas
beneficial places to unwind. People
who keen
Add a missing verb
are keen
on
to create something Change preposition
apply
they
find Correct pronoun usage
apply
city
not the best place for creating as they Correct article usage
the city
almost
every time disturbed Add a missing verb
are almost
with
the horns outside and they lose conservation, Change preposition
by
however
not only creative people
find country side
as a great place to live Correct your spelling
countryside
also
Correct word choice
but also
most
all retired Correct your spelling
almost
people
try to live in peace and quiet where they will not be under megapolis pressure.
On the other
Add a comma
,other
the
hand, Correct article usage
apply
business
which Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
move
to Change the verb form
moves
rural
Add an article
a rural
area
will cause a decrease in the number of consumers. Fix the agreement mistake
areas
People
may claim that working in rural areas
provides the
employees with a healthier working environment. Correct article usage
apply
However
, due to the deplorable transport system outside the cities, the drivers may face difficulties while travelling to the firm. For example
, this
causes the customers less likely to visit the company and needs more time for the transportation of products. This
, it is difficult to maintain the number of customers in rural areas
compared to that in cities however
it provides the workers with a healthier lifestyle
In conclusion, the government
Change noun form
government's
suggest
about moving firms and Replace the word
suggestion
people
to the countryside is not a good approach as there are more drawbacks compared to benefits. Instead
, the government can improve urban and
facilities in the country which will solve Correct word choice
apply
overpopulation
issue.Correct article usage
the overpopulation
Submitted by yokubjon_nurullaev on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!