IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries, prison is the most common solution for crimes. However, many think that better education is the most effective way to prevent people from committing further crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#countries #prison #crimes #education #people #crime
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Nowadays, prison is the common solution to the problem of
crime
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 in many countries, since
crime
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 is one of the most problems that these governments face.
However
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, whether or not to provide
people
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 with better
education
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 to prevent criminals is a controversial issue. In my opinion, I deeply agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea, good
education
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 is the best way to resolve
this
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 problem. It is obvious that better
education
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 can make
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
 society more safety. That means
people
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 who get good
education
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 have more opportunities to get
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Add an article
a job
the job
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job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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, and can increase their income.
For example
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, many countries create
some
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apply
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training
centers
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centres
show examples
 for
people
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improving
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to improve
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 their skills to find
suitable
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a suitable
show examples
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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.
People
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 who get
a
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apply
show examples
stable
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job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 will not commit
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Add an article
a crime
the crime
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crime
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crimes
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.
Therefore
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,
deliver
Wrong verb form
delivering
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 well
education
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 can reduce
motivation
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the motivation
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of
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for
show examples
crime
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.
Moreover
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, better
education
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 can let
people
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 know between
right
Add an article
the right
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 to wrong, especially young
people
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. Since children
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 lack
of
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apply
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decinplin
Correct your spelling
decoupling
, they always imitate
the
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apply
show examples
bad
behaviors
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behaviours
show examples
. Teaching them
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to play
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play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
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 a
crucial
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crucially
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 important role.
For instance
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, with technology developing, more criminal movies and games full of
the
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apply
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society, if parents or schools do not talk to children
what
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about what
show examples
 is right, they are easy
commit
Add the particle
to commit
show examples
Use synonyms
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
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. Thereby good teaching can prevent
crime
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.
Although
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 prison can punish criminals,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
many
people
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 who are released from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prison easy return to make
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crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
. Since they don’t have any skills to get a
job
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. In conclusion,the government
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
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 better
education
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 is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best way to prevent
crime
Use synonyms
,
instead
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 of
increasing
Add an article
an increasing
the increasing
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number
Correct article usage
the number
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 of prisons.
Submitted by kevin. B on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crime deterrent
  • rehabilitative
  • moral understanding
  • punitive measures
  • root causes
  • recidivism
  • socioeconomic factors
  • deter criminals
  • cost-effectiveness
  • social integration
  • maintenance
  • construction
  • traditional views
  • productive members
  • knowledge
What to do next:
Look at other essays: