IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say modern innovations bring lot of problem than benefits? Do you agree or disagree?

#people #innovations
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Nowadays the world has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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changed dramatically, many innovations have been created that might affect our
Use synonyms
life
Replace the word
lives
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 both positively and negatively.
For instance
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, cell phones, computers and TVs. Each one of them has pros and cons.
Therefore
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, it depends on how we will use it. Phones make
huge
Add an article
a huge
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change
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
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on
Change preposition
in
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people
Change noun form
people's
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life
Use synonyms
. It gives us the ability to be towed with our beloves.
In addition
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, it saves our
time
Use synonyms
.
However
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, it has
side
Add an article
a side
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effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
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.
For example
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, when we spend a lot of
time
Use synonyms
 looking at it,
therefore
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, it might
Correct your spelling
cause
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case
Correct your spelling
cause
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 eye pain. Especially for kids. So, we need to be
Correct your spelling
careful
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carful
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careful
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 when we use it.
Likewise
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, TV when we consume much
time
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 watching tv, it gives us good knowledge but at the same
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time
Add a comma
,time
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 it affects our health badly.
Also
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,
computer
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the computer
a computer
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 has advantage and disadvantage. It helps us to calculate big data and process our input as we feed it.
Consequently
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, it gives us
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
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of
Change preposition
apply
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work that will lead to excellent
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
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. It is clear from what I just mentioned,
computer
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the computer
a computer
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 has
profound
Correct article usage
a profound
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 change
on
Change preposition
in
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 work
life
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
modernizations
Fix the agreement mistake
modernization
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 have brought amazing solutions to the community which make us get our job done smoothly.
Furthermore
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,
revolution
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the revolution
a revolution
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 has complicated the human
life
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 system that
need
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needs
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 more focus and effort. My recommendation is to use
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern innovation moderately and wisely. Because
,
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apply
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 it will enrich our natural
life
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 and will ease things even our planning and expectation.
Nevertheless
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, we should have control
on
Change preposition
over
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 it
otherwise
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 it will affect us and our health severely.
Submitted by freeabdullah on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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