IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

important differences between the idea of earning money from professional sports in contrast people in other major professions

#differences #idea #money #sports #contrast #people #professions
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important differences between the idea of earning
money
Use synonyms
 from professional sports
in contrast
Linking Words
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
to people
show examples
 in other major
professions
Use synonyms
, where
although
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 think
this
Linking Words
 is fully justified, others think it is unfair. There are who argue that exit several reasons for the difference
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 earning
money
Use synonyms
 working as a professional sports and other important
professions
Use synonyms
 workers, but it depends on the specifics viewpoints.
For instance
Linking Words
, in a variety of
sports
Add a comma
,sports
show examples
 there are a wide number of companies that support
Linking Words
this earnings
Change the determiner
these earnings
show examples
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 particular interests
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
 sponsorships, investments, publicity, between a lot
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more aspects that generate
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a bog amount
bog amounts
show examples
bog
Correct your spelling
big
show examples
 amounts of
money
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 could be considered other world fully different from to
professions
Use synonyms
 in the normal population. On the one hand is the entertainment world, one of the most recognized
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
, and all the
people
Use synonyms
 pay for it, and it can add a lot of
money
Use synonyms
 day by day.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
in this
show examples
 kind of professional
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
people
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a short time to develop
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 activities, because the physical performance in any
sport
Use synonyms
 is highly
demandant
Replace the word
demand
show examples
. It before explained due that the range of age to execute any
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 activity could be less than ten years, and the level of demand is
quite
Correct your spelling
quiet
show examples
. In
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
professions
Use synonyms
, even very important, its execution is through decades and can be more stable in earning terms, whereas if the
people
Use synonyms
 want to earn more
money
Use synonyms
, they have to study more as can be specialization and masters or similar
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 or gain
mor
Correct your spelling
more
 experience through the time, it could help with certainty. One of the ways to earn more
money
Use synonyms
Change preposition
by
show examples
having a common profession could be
create
Fix the infinitive
to create
show examples
 your own business, it can improve the level of profits
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 each person. Taking everything into consideration, there are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
significant differences between both
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 of
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
show examples
 either for the
develop
Replace the word
development
show examples
 of normal activities in society or
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 doings.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
,opinion
show examples
 the balance of earning
money
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
ins
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 extremely high and it is a little bit unfair, taking
in to
Correct your spelling
into
show examples
 account the biggest needs in the society
Submitted by iqmiguelangel on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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