Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic entertainment. It would be better to encourage them to spend more time outside playing sports and games. Do you agree or disagree?

#children #computers #entertainment #time #sports #games

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The importance of motivating the young generation to engage in outdoor activities rather than spending hours playing computer games or watching TV has always been debatable and has now become more controversial with many people claiming that open-ground hobbies are highly beneficial. The substantial influence of

this

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trend has sparked controversy over its potential impact in recent years. In my opinion, the former proposition appears to be more rational.

This

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essay will

further

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elaborate my views for favouring the positive impact of playing ground play

thus

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leading to a logical conclusion. Analyzing the statement and explaining

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, the first and foremost reason behind

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is that the emphasis of children on outdoor games alleviates cognitive skills.

For instance

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, young players are channelling their energy in athletics

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Remove the comma

apply

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Cricket, Football and Hockey to influence cooperative and critical thinking experiences. Another striking benefit in

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regard is that participating in a daily outdoor festivity routine is a key component to mitigating mental health problems including, depression and anxiety, accelerating

overall

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health benefits. Probing ahead, one of the main underlying reasons stems from the fact that numerous park games improve physical fitness and build strength, stamina and flexibility,

whereas

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regular exposure to fresh air and sunlight strengthens the immune system. Moving

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, it is pertinent to mention that achieving goals in sports builds self-esteem and teaches persistence, handling failure and sticking to routines. Apart from the reasons mentioned above it can be clearly stated why many are in favor of

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trend. To recapitulate,

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the arguments aforementioned above, one can reach the conclusion that the benefits of encouraging youngsters for physical sports are indeed too great, it has a direct link with physical and mental health and influences multi-tasking and problem problem-solving expertise.

Submitted by vairag4u on Sat Jan 04 2025

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task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mentioning specific programs or initiatives that encourage outdoor play could make your essay more convincing.

task achievement

Ensure that all your main points are fully supported with evidence, either through examples, statistics, or references to credible sources.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

coherence cohesion

You have presented your points logically and clearly, making your arguments easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

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Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic entertainment. It would be better to encourage them to spend more time outside playing sports and games. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think women should be allowed to join the army, the navy and the Airforce just like men. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Society now has the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world, due to the improvement of automation. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think children have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Fossil fuels are essential for producing electricity, powering industry and fueling transportation. However, one day we will reach a point when all the world's fossil fuels have been depleted. How can we conserve these resources? What are some alternatives to fossil fuels?