Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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It is often argued that a crucial way to close
individuals
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of different traditions and ages is through
music
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. I strongly believe that
music
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can serve as a path to joining
individuals
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of non-identical cultures and age groups. The first and foremost reason to agree with
this
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notion is that
music
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is a form of communication that brings
individuals
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of different countries close by emotional connection
however
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individuals
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listen to
music
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across their own country.In live performances,
people
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around the globe come together to share their values as they have different appearances, and different life lifestyles so it develops a sense of unity and a healing soul in them .
Hence
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music
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has the ability to support social bonding because
individuals
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of different ages share their interests and values with one another.
For example
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, in a digital world, the
music
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streaming platform Spotify plays a role in bringing
people
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together by providing social interaction.
Secondly
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,
people
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have their own taste in
music
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such
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as some like to listen to light tunes and others like to listen to fast
music
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.They celebrate musical activity with their own interest Instance, I belong to a country where distinct types of musical events are celebrated in which older
people
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like to listen to classical
music
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whilst younger adults listen to hip hop.
Therefore
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it is difficult to connect generations through
music
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.As a matter of fact, younger
people
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are now joining rap and classical which is a supportive point for older
people
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.Nowadays,
people
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listen to all types of
music
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as well as
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international
music
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which is a plus point to joining the
peopl
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people
around the world.
To sum up
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,
music
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plays a beneficial role in bringing
people
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of different cultures and values by emotional connection and by sharing common interests and tastes in
music
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.
Submitted by madihaali8470 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use more clear transitions between your ideas to enhance the logical flow. Using linking phrases such as 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' 'In addition to that' can help strengthen the connections between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or data to effectively illustrate your points. This can strengthen the level of support for the arguments you are making.
Task Achievement
Your introduction is strong and clearly states your opinion that music bridges cultural and age divides.
Coherence and Cohesion
The use of examples like Spotify and your personal country experience adds a personal touch and demonstrates a connection to real-world aspects of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural diversity
  • harmony
  • integration
  • bridging gaps
  • foster
  • ignite
  • embrace
  • communicate
  • celebrate
  • appreciate
  • inclusivity
  • universal language
  • emotional resonance
  • shared experiences
  • intercultural dialogue
  • intergenerational connections
  • cultural exchange
  • catalyst
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