Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is often argued that a crucial way to close
individuals
of different traditions and ages is through
music
. I strongly believe that
music
can serve as a path to joining
individuals
of non-identical cultures and age groups. The first and foremost reason to agree with
this
notion is that
music
is a form of communication that brings
individuals
of different countries close by emotional connection
however
individuals
listen to
music
across their own country.In live performances,
people
around the globe come together to share their values as they have different appearances, and different life lifestyles so it develops a sense of unity and a healing soul in them .
Hence
music
has the ability to support social bonding because
individuals
of different ages share their interests and values with one another.
For example
, in a digital world, the
music
streaming platform Spotify plays a role in bringing
people
together by providing social interaction.
Secondly
,
people
have their own taste in
music
such
as some like to listen to light tunes and others like to listen to fast
music
.They celebrate musical activity with their own interest Instance, I belong to a country where distinct types of musical events are celebrated in which older
people
like to listen to classical
music
whilst younger adults listen to hip hop.
Therefore
it is difficult to connect generations through
music
.As a matter of fact, younger
people
are now joining rap and classical which is a supportive point for older
people
.Nowadays,
people
listen to all types of
music
as well as
international
music
which is a plus point to joining the
peopl
Correct your spelling
people
around the world.
To sum up
,
music
plays a beneficial role in bringing
people
of different cultures and values by emotional connection and by sharing common interests and tastes in
music
.
Submitted by madihaali8470 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use more clear transitions between your ideas to enhance the logical flow. Using linking phrases such as 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' 'In addition to that' can help strengthen the connections between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or data to effectively illustrate your points. This can strengthen the level of support for the arguments you are making.
Task Achievement
Your introduction is strong and clearly states your opinion that music bridges cultural and age divides.
Coherence and Cohesion
The use of examples like Spotify and your personal country experience adds a personal touch and demonstrates a connection to real-world aspects of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural diversity
  • harmony
  • integration
  • bridging gaps
  • foster
  • ignite
  • embrace
  • communicate
  • celebrate
  • appreciate
  • inclusivity
  • universal language
  • emotional resonance
  • shared experiences
  • intercultural dialogue
  • intergenerational connections
  • cultural exchange
  • catalyst
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