It is important for people to take risks, both in their personal lives and professional lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risk outweigh the disadvantages

#people #risks #lives #risk

There has been a rising allegation referring to

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

taking the initiative of

risk

either in their career or private decisions to reach high levels of prosperity.

This

issue is fraught with controversy, with

concern

Add an article

the concern

show examples

being expressed

whether

Change preposition

about whether

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it is worth

to put

Change the verb form

putting

show examples

comfort and stability at

risk

. I am utterly convinced that

this

trend would overshadow the possible drawbacks.

This

essay will

firstly

argue that it exerts considerable influence on social development and

secondly

contend that personal accomplishments would not be as accessible without taking it into account. Presumably, the high-

risk

actions are rooted in our distant accelerated sense of desire in Human Beings.

That is

to say

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

if any society had not embraced the consequences of risky actions; currently, it would not be known as a developed country. Considering Industrial Revolution in France,

for instance

, where a great deal of passion and dedication alongside

risk

made them

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a Pioneer Nation. Indeed, having mentioned these, it seems it is the

risk

which embarks on motivation, especially in the cut-throating competition epoch.

Hence

this

reason vividly elaborates how it could work as a significant engine which tempts

people

to move forward.

Moreover

, rarely any well-known folk could be found not deliberately deciding without focusing on routine caution.

In other words

, the more ambitious individuals have, the more uncontrolled actions they require. Perhaps, personal achievement would not have been handed to those who wish for an

unshaky

Correct your spelling

unshakably

lifestyle in

this

rigorous viscous marathon. Despite

this

outweigh, as a wise man once said, the more

people

eager for promotion, the more they lost, including their solace;

however

, not only does it provoke

people

public to establish the best of themselves, but

also

does it bring prosperity through their constant innovations.

Therefore

this

reason examines how it could amplify

people

's desire to be successful. In conclusion, human beings are defined by their risky approaches challenging their lifestyle constantly. I want to reaffirm my statement that the superiority of

this

action admittedly outweighs the adverse effects regarding Social Development and personal Evolution caused by

this

position.

Submitted by mohammad_rasfijani on Mon Oct 31 2022

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

343 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It can be difficult for small local shops to compete with large supermarkets and with on-line shops. How does this affect local communities? What could be done to improve this situation?