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Band 5.5

Write about the following topic. Bullying is a big problem in many schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #schools
Bullying in
schools
 is a growing concern around the world. Students desire a safe environment at school, but when the
schools
 have insecurities bullying occurs. There are some reasons for
this
 phenomenon according to my perspective.
This
 essay will outline the possible causes and reasonable solutions including relevant examples. To commence with, according to research conducted in 2009, school bullying has increased dramatically up to 35%
this
 despite, a bully may have
a life-long issues
Correct the article-noun agreement
life-long issues
a life-long issue
show examples
 related to bullying, why
they
Add a missing verb
do they
show examples
 are to
trying
Add the particle
totrying
show examples
 bully their peers? A possible occurrence is maybe that child is going through a family issue where they don’t have a healthy relationship with their parents and they have been abused in their childhood. These groups of children select the weaker peers and insult their behaviour verbally and physically throughout a period. As an example, according to a recent ,study an Austrian schoolgirl committed suicide because her friends were bullying her about her appearance. Evidently, bullying affects millions of students in all
schools
 around the world.
On the other hand
,
schools
 can set up various programs to educate all the students from a young age about the dangers and effects of bullying their peers. Teachers have the main role in
this
 process, where they need to be patient and discipline the children in order to prevent the situations. As an example, especially school administrators can set up policies related to
bullyings
Fix the agreement mistake
bullying
show examples
,
such
 as providing counsellors for the bully and the victims.
Hence
 every staff member of
schools
 should hold responsible to prevent bullying situations around the
schools
. To sum up, bullying should be taken seriously and teachers should understand the causes of bullying
such
 as family issues and abuse of children in the field of education
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and should apply the necessary requirements to analyse the issues.
Submitted by wathsala.lekamge1997 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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