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Band 4.5

Some people think that the best way to reduce crimes is to apply longer prison sentences, other people think that there are better methods of doing so. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #crimes #prison #sentences #methods
There are
people
 who assume the best possible method of crime reduction is prolonging
prison
 sentences and many others are fans of different ways of punishment. As far as I am concerned, the
second
group
 have a better point due to the reasons which will be discussed in the following paragraphs. The
first
group
 of
people
 strongly believe a longer
sentence
 is a practical and beneficial
way
 of punishment for
criminals
. These
people
 maintain the
prison
sentence
 is geared
to
Change preposition
toward
show examples
 amending guilty individuals in a proper
way
. The
criminals
 are judged in court once and
then
 spend a specific period of time behind bars. The
first
group
 believes
this
 duration of time has a considerable effect on society and gives a remedy to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public safety.
On the
contrary
Add a comma
,contrary
show examples
 the
second
 party firmly maintains that a longer
prison
sentence
 should not be considered a flawless method,
however
 keeping wrongdoers in jail will keep them away from society for a while, and it does not have a permanent effect on one’s behaviours and mindset. As we have seen so far in the legal system method, guilty individuals will continue their previous life as soon as their
sentence
 period has ended.
On the other hand
, being in
prison
 paves the
way
 for
criminals
 to meet other prisoners and
as a result
, they will cooperate in evil jobs after the termination of their
sentence
. Without a shadow of a doubt establishing educational classes and motivational speeches can alter their mindset to choose a better route than the previous one.
In addition
, financial support for sentenced
people
 to start a new career will be beneficial for their future. There is no denying the fact that gone are the days when the only possible punishment for
criminals
 was a long
prison
sentence
. Making a move to change personalities and attitudes toward a better condition would be more efficient. We should try to nurture autonomous
people
 who are able to make their lives in
clear
Change the article
a clear
show examples
way
.
Hence
 due to the reasons which were discussed in previous paragraphs, the
second
group
 might have a better point of view which they believe longer
prison
 sentences would not necessarily lead to better
people
 and
safer
Correct article usage
a safer
show examples
 society with fewer crimes.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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