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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In your view, what is the most important thing for governments to spend money on: education, health, transportation, or something else? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

#governments #money #education #health #transportation #answers
There are many
people
 who think the government should spend money on health. Others see the need to invest in
education
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 or build transportation. I think the most critical factors are medical
level
 and
education
, and money should be spent on those two.
First
 of all, my
country
 has had a COVID-19 outbreak since 2020. Because of insufficient medical
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
, many compatriots died without timely treatment.
Medical
Add an article
The medical
show examples
level
 is a very important factor
,
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apply
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 because when the disease comes, the
level
 of medical care can even decide the
life
 and death of a person.
For example
, in some poorer countries, there is not enough money to spend on medical care. The average
life
 expectancy in their
country
 is just 46 years, well below the global average of 64 years.For these reasons, I think
Medical
Correct article usage
the Medical
show examples
level
 is the number one important factor that governments should focus on.
Education
 plays a critical role in everyone's
life
, especially
for
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apply
show examples
young
people
. If
people
 can get a quality
education
,
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will have more opportunities and more informed choices. There will be a good job and a happy
life
.
For example
, in some countries,
education
 is not taken seriously. The
country
 will have a higher crime rate. The crime rate of a
country
 is inversely proportional to the
level
 of
education
. So the government invests in
education
. In conclusion, I strongly believe that medical
level
 and
education
 are important factors that the government needs to spend,
because
Change preposition
on because
show examples
 the
level
 of medical determines the average
life
 expectancy of
people
, and
education
 will change the
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 of young
people
.
Submitted by xinxinchen7777 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • allocation of resources
  • socioeconomic development
  • innovation
  • public health
  • infrastructure
  • sustainable practices
  • conservation
  • equality
  • trade
  • emergency preparedness
  • safety nets
  • mitigating
  • critical thinking
  • outbreaks
  • workforce
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