In your view, what is the most important thing for governments to spend money on: education, health, transportation, or something else? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

There are many
people
who think the government should spend money on health. Others see the need to invest in
education
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
or build transportation. I think the most critical factors are medical
level
and
education
, and money should be spent on those two.
First
of all, my
country
has had a COVID-19 outbreak since 2020. Because of insufficient medical
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
, many compatriots died without timely treatment.
Medical
Add an article
The medical
show examples
level
is a very important factor
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because when the disease comes, the
level
of medical care can even decide the
life
and death of a person.
For example
, in some poorer countries, there is not enough money to spend on medical care. The average
life
expectancy in their
country
is just 46 years, well below the global average of 64 years.For these reasons, I think
Medical
Correct article usage
the Medical
show examples
level
is the number one important factor that governments should focus on.
Education
plays a critical role in everyone's
life
, especially
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
young
people
. If
people
can get a quality
education
,
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
will have more opportunities and more informed choices. There will be a good job and a happy
life
.
For example
, in some countries,
education
is not taken seriously. The
country
will have a higher crime rate. The crime rate of a
country
is inversely proportional to the
level
of
education
. So the government invests in
education
. In conclusion, I strongly believe that medical
level
and
education
are important factors that the government needs to spend,
because
Change preposition
on because
show examples
the
level
of medical determines the average
life
expectancy of
people
, and
education
will change the
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
of young
people
.
Submitted by xinxinchen7777 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • allocation of resources
  • socioeconomic development
  • innovation
  • public health
  • infrastructure
  • sustainable practices
  • conservation
  • equality
  • trade
  • emergency preparedness
  • safety nets
  • mitigating
  • critical thinking
  • outbreaks
  • workforce
What to do next:
Look at other essays: