IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In your view, what is the most important thing for governments to spend money on: education, health, transportation, or something else? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

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There are many
people
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 who think the government should spend money on health. Others see the need to invest in
education
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,
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apply
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 or build transportation. I think the most critical factors are medical
level
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 and
education
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, and money should be spent on those two.
First
Linking Words
 of all, my
country
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 has had a COVID-19 outbreak since 2020. Because of insufficient medical
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level
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levels
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, many compatriots died without timely treatment.
Medical
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The medical
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level
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 is a very important factor
,
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apply
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 because when the disease comes, the
level
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 of medical care can even decide the
life
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 and death of a person.
For example
Linking Words
, in some poorer countries, there is not enough money to spend on medical care. The average
life
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 expectancy in their
country
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 is just 46 years, well below the global average of 64 years.For these reasons, I think
Medical
Correct article usage
the Medical
show examples
level
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 is the number one important factor that governments should focus on.
Education
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 plays a critical role in everyone's
life
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, especially
for
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apply
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young
people
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. If
people
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 can get a quality
education
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,
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 will have more opportunities and more informed choices. There will be a good job and a happy
life
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.
For example
Linking Words
, in some countries,
education
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 is not taken seriously. The
country
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 will have a higher crime rate. The crime rate of a
country
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 is inversely proportional to the
level
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 of
education
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. So the government invests in
education
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. In conclusion, I strongly believe that medical
level
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 and
education
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 are important factors that the government needs to spend,
because
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on because
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 the
level
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 of medical determines the average
life
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 expectancy of
people
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, and
education
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 will change the
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life
Replace the word
lives
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 of young
people
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • allocation of resources
  • socioeconomic development
  • innovation
  • public health
  • infrastructure
  • sustainable practices
  • conservation
  • equality
  • trade
  • emergency preparedness
  • safety nets
  • mitigating
  • critical thinking
  • outbreaks
  • workforce
What to do next:
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