IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

An American film actor once said, “Tomorrow is important and precious”. Some people think individuals and society should pay more attention to the future than to the present. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is thought that individuals and society should focus on the
future
 rather than the nowadays, but I disagree with
this
 statement. In
this
 essay, I will explain why we should pay more attention to the current day rather than the
future
.
To begin
, the present is a key to deciding what will you do in the
future
.
People
 cannot take over both the past and
future
, but they can control all actions in the current day. To reach goals, you have to try hard at the present.
For instance
, you have an exam next month so you need to revise and strengthen the knowledge that you have already learnt
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. Without ,practice you will not get a high score.
Therefore
, today's actions should be more emphasized to get good results.
Moreover
, time is a treasure so moments are significant and precious, we have to appreciate them
instead
 of looking forward to the
future
. Overthinking about the
future
 will make
people
 feel depressed and stressed or they can suffer from insomnia.
For example
, before going to bed, I will feel worried about the next day. To stop thinking about that, I decided to turn it in and don't care about anything. Not only that, I always think that any moment can appear in the
future
 so we cannot prevent it.
Additionally
,
people
 who always think that they will succeed without trying hard can be an illusion. The more you think, the worse you feel. As a matter of fact,
people
 should focus on the present
instead
 of the
future
 because achievement will depend on today's actions. In my point of view, everyone needs to pay more attention to ongoing events, not
upgoing
Verb problem
ongoing
show examples
 events.
Submitted by anhdp.odin on

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task response
The essay does not fully address the prompt. The argument is not well-developed and lacks substantial support.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure. The introduction and conclusion are present but inadequately developed. Additionally, the arguments need to be more cohesive and linked together.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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