16.When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
A new city plan considers that it is a way principal
improving
parks and sports areas Wrong verb form
improve
than
malls for people's leisure. I totally agree with Rephrase
rather than
this
idea, because it is really healthy to spend time doing outdoor activities, and also
unnecessary shopping is prevented by not going to shopping centres so frequently due to
lack of them.
Firstly
, outdoor places such
as public parks and sports complexes are very common centres if society has a space. For example
, there are so many opportunities people gain from these areas like walking, running, and socializing with other friends. Moreover
, doing sport is very beneficial for not only physical health but also
mental health. Recent surveys show that depression is 10% less in the population doing sport twice a week. Consequently
, having a quality moment at outdoor places will be better for human health in many ways.
Secondly
, there is an unnecessary shopping trend nowadays due to
entrepreneurs' marketing strategies. Increasing the number of shopping malls is one of them. For instance
, if teenagers had had so many in their town, they would have spent their whole time shopping as a result
of the lack of other activities. Eventually, if there are more outdoor facilities, they will not go shopping and that will block unessential expenditures. That is
why it
should be a precise number of malls in one town.
Correct pronoun usage
there
Finally
, it is more important to develop outdoor public parks and sports facilities than shopping buildings. Clearly, it either has useful effects on human life or prevents excessive expenses.Submitted by dctr_green_east on
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