16.When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#town #parks #sports #facilities #centres #people #time

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A new city plan considers that it is a way principal

improving

Wrong verb form

improve

show examples

parks and sports areas

than

Rephrase

rather than

show examples

malls for people's leisure. I totally agree with

this

Linking Words

idea, because it is really healthy to spend time doing outdoor activities, and

also

Linking Words

unnecessary shopping is prevented by not going to shopping centres so frequently

due to

Linking Words

lack of them.

Firstly

Linking Words

, outdoor places

such

Linking Words

as public parks and sports complexes are very common centres if society has a space.

For example

Linking Words

, there are so many opportunities people gain from these areas like walking, running, and socializing with other friends.

Moreover

Linking Words

, doing sport is very beneficial for not only physical health but

also

Linking Words

mental health. Recent surveys show that depression is 10% less in the population doing sport twice a week.

Consequently

Linking Words

, having a quality moment at outdoor places will be better for human health in many ways.

Secondly

Linking Words

, there is an unnecessary shopping trend nowadays

due to

Linking Words

entrepreneurs' marketing strategies. Increasing the number of shopping malls is one of them.

For instance

Linking Words

, if teenagers had had so many in their town, they would have spent their whole time shopping

as a result

Linking Words

of the lack of other activities. Eventually, if there are more outdoor facilities, they will not go shopping and that will block unessential expenditures.

That is

Linking Words

why

Correct pronoun usage

there

show examples

should be a precise number of malls in one town.

Finally

Linking Words

, it is more important to develop outdoor public parks and sports facilities than shopping buildings. Clearly, it either has useful effects on human life or prevents excessive expenses.

Submitted by dctr_green_east on Wed Nov 02 2022

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coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Make sure to introduce your main points and provide a concluding summary of your argument.

task achievement

Your essay provides relevant examples and ideas, but the response is not fully developed. Try to expand on your ideas with thorough explanations and examples.

coherence cohesion

You need to work on structuring your essay more logically. Ensure that your ideas flow in a coherent manner and follow a logical sequence.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

urban planning
recreational areas
green spaces
cityscape
well-being
pedestrian-friendly
ecosystem
sedentary lifestyle
consumer culture
retail therapy
land use
zoning regulations
ecological footprint
sustainable development
infrastructure

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16.When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write about the following topic: Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Why does this happen? What are the consequences of this situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The percentage of school aged boys in two different age groups who participated in 5 different sports in the UK in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

People feel that educational success is dependent on having a good teacher, others say it depends not the attitude of the student. Discuss both side and state your opinion*

In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?