IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic?

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Nowadays, there is an increasing trend of
obesity
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 more than in the past.
Overweight
Add a missing verb
Being overweight
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 is generally caused by eating too much and moving too little;
moreover
Linking Words
, the effects of
obesity
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 are
health
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problems
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.
People
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 that consume high amounts of calories mostly fats and sugar but do not burn out
this
Linking Words
 energy through exercise and physical activities, their surplus is stored by body fat.
Moreover
Linking Words
, companies like
kfc
Correct your spelling
KFC
 or mc are adding more calories to their meals in the form of double chees
of
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or
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 double bacon.
This
Linking Words
 causes that meal is better and
people
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 are coming back.
For example
Linking Words
, many
people
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 in my country work at home,
also
Linking Words
 they do not move a lot so they will not burn out any calories. Lots of effects of
obesity
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 are involved in
health
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problems
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. Junk food is so unhealthy and it contains a big amount of fats and sugar.
Fast-food
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Fast food
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 can affect every part
in
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of
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 our body from mental
health
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 to skin
problems
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.
People
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 are getting
last
Linking Words
 and take away food, they do not move even for food
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 can cause bad blood pressure and diabetes
problems
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.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
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obesity
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 can badly effects
on
Change preposition
apply
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our sleep.
People
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 who are overweight have
worst
Correct article usage
the worst
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 rem sleep. Research shows that
obesity
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 affected over 40 per cent of the U.S. population.
People
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 who were overweight suffered the worst sense of
humor
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humour
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,
also
Linking Words
 bad skin and blood pressure
problems
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.
In addition
Linking Words
,
people
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 that were overweight
whole
Correct pronoun usage
their whole
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 life, live shorter. In conclusion, overweight
people
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 are moving too little and
eat
Wrong verb form
eating
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to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 much.
This
Linking Words
 affects their
health
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 and mental
problems
Use synonyms
.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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