IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think that secondary or high school students should be taught how to use money management as it is an important life skill. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#people #school #students #money #management #life #skill
Believed by some folks that students in high schools should learn about the way in which they should use their
money
 because of its importance. I partially agree with
this
 opinion due to the reasons which will be discussed in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, parents can teach their children how to manage their use of
money
, by doing it by themselves in the right way. They can be in a process of learning since their childhood.
For instance
, when the youths go out shopping with the elders, they can only buy their needs and the stuff which they are really required.
For example
, If a five-year-old baby sees a stuffy, in spite of having a lot of them in her room, shout or even squeeze her mother's hand.On
this
 occasion, the parent shouldn't listen to her, because the child, has to learn how to handle her coins. She should know that sometimes the condition makes them solely purchase their needs. If her mom listened to her, she wouldn't be able to manage her income and maybe she will spend all her purchases on the things which are observable and she just stares at them.
On the other hand
, they don't need to be taught by their teachers. children are not listenable, they are always seeking thrills and like to experience everything by themselves.
Moreover
, they prefer to work, stand on their feet and have their own earnings, not their parent's. It is a useful and
also
 much important strategy, that these independent youngsters, go outdoors, shopping and buy whatever they require. If each time they purchase whatever they see, there will be no
money
 in their bank account for saving or even consuming at the end of the month. So, they should experience the situation of not having
money
, to use it in the right way when they become an adult. As discussed in the above paragraphs, I partially agree with the idea that for saving and using
money
, students can be taught at schools or colleges as the essentiality of
this
 issue.
Submitted by bahar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: