IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

; Some people think that one of the best ways to solve environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuels for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The past 50 years have seen a dramatic increase in the occurrence of environmental problems. Some individuals claim that
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 issue could be solved by raising the cost of fuel.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 I partly agree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 statement, I do believe that there are many other ways to deal with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 issue,
instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 of looking at only one aspect of the problem.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 with, it is an indisputable fact that after the
industrial revolution
Correct your spelling
Industrial Revolution

The word industrial revolution doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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, the number of car factories increased.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, nowadays, the air is adversely affected by car exhaust gases which cause a harsh climate. To explain, these gases contain a huge amount of toxic substances, chief among them is Co2. To illustrate, Tehran- the capital of Iran- is a salient example of a polluted city. I suggest that by raising the pay for gasoline and petroleum, presumably, people tend to use less their private cars.
Nonetheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, reaching
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 aim needs pivotal
infrasturactions
Correct your spelling
infrastructures

If you don’t want infrasturactions to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

like a good public transportation system
as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 implementation
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 cultivation as car/bike-sharing schemes. Equally importantly, the Earth suffer from some other problems more than just weather issues.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in recent days, more and more pollutants
are
Wrong verb form
have been

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb are. Consider changing it.

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 discharged into the oceans.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the lives of marine animals have become under threat of extinction. A salient instant is mass-stranding in whales.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, another major contributing factor is
nature
Replace the word
natural

The word nature doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
 challenges. To explain, it might have been seen that more woodlands
are
Wrong verb form
have been

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb are. Consider changing it.

show examples
 recently destroyed by builders to build more houses and villas. By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that
whereas
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 increasing the expense of fuel can be beneficial for the sake of air pollution, there are a number of other problems which are pivotal as much as air contamination.

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task response
Ensure that all main points are supported with appropriate examples and explanations. Develop the main points more thoroughly to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Overall, the essay shows a mostly clear progression of ideas, but it would benefit from stronger connections between paragraphs and clearer, more effective linkage of ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Environmental preservation
  • Sustainable transportation
  • Green technologies
  • Alternative energy sources
  • Renewable energy
  • Fuel-efficient vehicles
  • Electric vehicles (EVs)
  • Public transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic impact
  • Consumer behavior
  • Disproportionate effect
  • Government subsidies
  • Comprehensive policies
  • Cost-effective solutions
  • Carbon footprint reduction
What to do next:
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