IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries, working women can take a few months of maternity leave after childbirth. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #women #months #maternity #childbirth #outweigh
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often considered that female employees
use
Use synonyms
 to apply for
maternity
Use synonyms
 off for a few
months
Use synonyms
 after giving
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
birth to a
baby
Use synonyms
. In my, an inclined it is good to take leave after childbirth because it is crucial for the
baby
Use synonyms
 and the mother.
Thus
Linking Words
This
Linking Words
 essay will elaborate on positive effects which
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
show examples
 to a logical conclusion. Analyzing the statement and explaining
further
Linking Words
, the
first
Linking Words
 and foremost reason behind is that the newborn offspring is weak enough to need to take care of by the mother.
Thus
Linking Words
, the
baby
Use synonyms
 required breastfeeding in the initial stage of life.
Therefore
Linking Words
, females used to stay at home with their kids, so they need to apply for leave for
months
Use synonyms
 after the delivery of the child.
For example
Linking Words
, a survey conducted by The Times of Indian mentioned in their article that most Multi-National Organisations
use
Use synonyms
 to give paid leaves to pregnant ladies approx 14
months
Use synonyms
 so they can take care of their babies and women can
also
Linking Words
 improve their health. Probing ahead, and taking long
maternity
Use synonyms
 leave from the organisation can lead to trust issues and work burden on other employees.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, companies
use
Use synonyms
 to think about pregnant women they already indulge in
maternity
Use synonyms
 policies in which female staff can take a leave to rest at home without any worries.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some women
use
Use synonyms
 to take a few more
Use synonyms
months'
Correct your spelling
months
show examples
 to leave after
maternity
Use synonyms
 which creates pressure on other staff.
For instance
Linking Words
, some offices
use
Use synonyms
 to deduct payment from females when they apply for
maternity
Use synonyms
 leave for more
months
Use synonyms
 because it will cause a loss of company and productivity
also
Linking Words
 decreases. In a nutshell, according to , the argument one can reach the conclusion that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
maternity
Use synonyms
 after giving birth to a
baby
Use synonyms
 is good for the child and the mother.
Submitted by vermarohit981.rv on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: