IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

some people feel that entertainers are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? which other types of job should be highly paid?

#people #entertainers #money #job
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It has been considered by a few individuals that entertainers make very much
money
Use synonyms
 and which is an alternative platform for getting high salaries. According to my perspective most other sources for making
money
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,there are many pathways to getting high
money
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, if people have
good
Add an article
a good
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 education, they can get easily
white-collar
Correct article usage
a white-collar
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 job which provides them with
wonderful
Correct article usage
a wonderful
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 wage.
For example
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, in multiple ,companies individuals
obtain
Correct pronoun usage
who obtain
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 too much
money
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such
Linking Words
 as amazon,BMW and extra provide extremely high profits by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
selling their products. So that it is beneficial for the community.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, entertainers
also
Linking Words
makes
Change the verb form
make
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 fantastic
money
Use synonyms
 through their performance on stage shows and street dancers but not all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
entertainers get much
money
Use synonyms
 because only famous performers can make good
money
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. So It is a good platform for
this
Linking Words
. To conclude, it can be analysed from the above discussion that there are abundant od merits and demerits of
this
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 statement,
its
Correct word choice
and its
show examples
 drawbacks cannot be overlooked.
Submitted by jaspindergill3011 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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